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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851124">why cant you all just listen in your fucking classes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TastefullyIlliterate/pseuds/TastefullyIlliterate'>TastefullyIlliterate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hq chatfic-verse [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A Wild Plot Appears, Anyways, Barbie Movies, Confused Tsukishima Kei, Everyone Is Gay, I WILL LITERALLY WRITE SO MUCH NB NOYA THAT IT BECOMES A TAG, I would like to.. apologize in advance ❤️, Jealous Yamaguchi Tadashi, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Self-Discovery, Stakeout, Sugawara Koushi Needs A Hug, chatfic, dont fucking ask ok, except tanaka, guess who decided it was time for the found family tropes, he simps for our lord and savior kiyoko, hello lgbt community i have a proposition for the general public, here comes the trans headcanon propaganda, i love asahi im sorry i did him dirty, im literally the worst at tagging we've been through this, its literally just the boys texting, nonbinary nishinoya yu, platonic tsukkinoya because im a genius, there'll be optional side fics with more of the ships, you heard me folks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:54:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TastefullyIlliterate/pseuds/TastefullyIlliterate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thursday, April 4th, 7:34 PM.</p><p>Sawamura Daichi added Sugawara, Asahi, Tanaka, and 11 others to the group chat.</p><p>Sawamura Daichi changed the group chat title to “Karasuno Crows!”</p><p>Tanaka Ryuunosuke changed the group chat title to “tig ol’ bitties”</p><p>Sawamura Daichi changed the group chat title to “Karasuno Crows!”</p><p>Tanaka Ryu : THIS IS OPPRESSION</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hq chatfic-verse [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Chatfics I simp for</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. lets arson this shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Azumane Asahi’s nickname to homeless jesus</p><p>homeless jesus : Why homeless?</p><p>kiyoko’s stepstool : remember that one time u scared noya and hinata</p><p>homeless jesus : ,,</p><p>understandable have a nice day</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Thursday, April 4th, 7:34 PM.</em>
</p>
<p>Sawamura Daichi added Sugawara, Asahi, Tanaka, and 11 others to the group chat.</p>
<p>Sawamura Daichi changed the group chat title to “Karasuno Crows!”</p>
<p>Tanaka Ryuunosuke changed the group chat title to “tig ol’ bitties”</p>
<p>Sawamura Daichi changed the group chat title to “Karasuno Crows!”</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka Ryu</strong> : THIS IS OPPRESSION</p>
<p>Nishinoya Yu changed the group chat name to “ball busters”</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka</strong> <strong>Ryu</strong> : omg</p>
<p><strong>Daichi</strong> <strong>Sawamura</strong> : PLEASE</p>
<p><strong>Nishinoya</strong> <strong>Yu</strong> : no &lt;3</p>
<p><strong>Sugawara Koushi</strong> : nishinoya.</p>
<p><strong>Nishinoya Yu</strong> changed the group chat name to “Karasuno Crows!”</p>
<p><strong>Azumane Asahi</strong> : woah</p>
<p><strong>Sugawara Koushi</strong> : c:</p>
<p><strong>Kageyama Tobio</strong> : what is this</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka Ryu</strong> : heresy</p>
<p><strong>Kageyama Tobio</strong> : ok</p>
<p><strong>Daichi Sawamura</strong> : Do you even know what heresy is?</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka Ryu</strong> : no but it sounds fun</p>
<p>Like arson</p>
<p><strong>Nishinoya Yu</strong> : omg lets arson this shit</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka Ryu</strong> : omg</p>
<p><strong>Nishinoya Yu</strong> : omg</p>
<p><strong>Daichi Sawamura</strong> : NO</p>
<p><strong>Yamaguchi Tadashi</strong> : ooo so we made a karasuno volleyball gc ? :o</p>
<p><strong>Tsukishima Kei</strong> : unfortunately</p>
<p><strong>Hinata Shouyou</strong> : it's not unfortunate!!</p>
<p><strong>Tsukishima Kei</strong> : .</p>
<p>Tsukishima Kei left the group chat</p>
<p>Nishinoya Yu added Tsukishima Kei to the group chat</p>
<p><strong>Tsukishima Kei</strong> : why must you subject me to this godforsaken band of gremlins on leashes</p>
<p><strong>Nishinoya Yu</strong> : bc u love us &lt;333</p>
<p>Tsukishima Kei left the group chat</p>
<p>Nishinoya Yu added Tsukishima Kei to the group chat</p>
<p><strong>Sugawara Koushi</strong> : Anyways</p>
<p><strong>Tanaka Ryu</strong> : first order of business</p>
<p><strong>Azumane Asahi</strong> : may god have mercy on us all</p>
<p>Tanaka Ryu changed their nickname to kiyoko’s stepstool</p>
<p>Tanaka Ryu changed Nishinoya Yu’s nickname to lucky bastard</p>
<p><strong>Hinata Shouyou</strong> : why is his nickname lucky cuss-word?</p>
<p><strong>Sugawara Koushi</strong> : Kiyoko slapped him once</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard</strong> : it was the best day of my life</p>
<p>i didn’t wash my cheek for two weeks</p>
<p><strong>Azumane Asahi</strong> : Daichi had to hold him down and Suga scrubbed his face until he could see his skin again</p>
<p>I’ll never forget the sight of Daichi and Suga chasing Noya around campus with heavy duty cleaning supplies… Was the Clorox and roach spray really necessary?</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Daichi Sawamura’s nickname to stinky traitor</p>
<p>stinky traitor changed their nickname to Daichi</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Daichi’s nickname to Dadchi</p>
<p><strong>Dadchi</strong> : Close enough. I can live with this.</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Sugawara Koushi’s nickname to sugamama</p>
<p><strong>sugamama</strong>: um excuse me</p>
<p>im not ur mother</p>
<p>dont you all have families to go home to</p>
<p><strong>Dadch</strong>i : Yeah, I’m sure your family are looking for you all. Somewhere.</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Azumane Asahi’s nickname to homeless jesus</p>
<p><strong>homeless jesus</strong> : Why homeless?</p>
<p><strong>kiyoko’s stepstool</strong> : remember that one time u scared noya and hinata</p>
<p><strong>homeless jesus</strong> : ,,</p>
<p>understandable have a nice day</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Kageyama Tobio’s nickname to milkman</p>
<p><strong>milkman</strong> : fair enough</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Yamaguchi Tadashi’s nickname to an actual fucking angel</p>
<p><strong>an actual fucking angel</strong> : ur so nice to me tanaka :o</p>
<p><strong>kiyoko’s stepstool</strong> : i just say it like it is</p>
<p><strong>Tsukishima Kei</strong> : don’t you fucking dare</p>
<p>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Tsukishima Kei’s nickname to he angy</p>
<p><strong>he angy</strong> : .</p>
<p>he angy left the group chat</p>
<p>lucky bastard added he angy into the groupchat</p>
<p><strong>he angy</strong> : why won’t you let me leave</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard</strong> : same reason u keep leaving</p>
<p>bc u love us and would get sad if we didn’t add u back in &lt;3</p>
<p>he angy left the group chat</p>
<p>lucky bastard added he angy into the group chat</p>
<p>he angy left the groupchat</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard</strong> : yams r u w/ tsukki rn</p>
<p><strong>an actual fucking angel :</strong> ofc why?</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard :</strong> watch hes gonna get grumpy when i dont add him back</p>
<p>200 yen says he’ll pretend he was glad i didn’t add him back</p>
<p>give it like 10 mins</p>
<p><strong>kiyoko’s stepstool</strong> : ur on but winner also gets piggyback ride to every single class for a week</p>
<p><strong>Dadchi</strong> : That’s bad for your back!</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard</strong> : only if ur a weak coward bitchbaby it is</p>
<p><strong>Dadchi</strong> : .</p>
<p>I regret making this group chat.</p>
<p><strong>kiyoko’s stepstool</strong> : omg after 20 whole minutes?</p>
<p>NEW RECORD</p>
<p><strong>lucky bastard</strong> : U KNOW WHWT THAT MEANS</p>
<p><strong>Dadchi</strong> : What?</p>
<p>What does it mean?</p>
<p>WHAT???</p>
<p>
  <em>8:49 PM</em>
</p>
<p>lucky bastard added he angy to the group chat</p>
<p><strong>he angy</strong> : .</p>
<p>i hate it here</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Friday, April 5th, 8:56 AM</em>
</p>
<p><strong>Hinata Shouyou</strong> : guys why is Tanaka piggyback carrying Nishinoya to class??</p>
<p><strong>an actual fucking angel</strong> : dw about it :)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. anyways (pt 2 electricc boogaloo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>lucky bastard : i’ll steal your toes baldy </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>gc names so far :<br/>tanaka : kiyoko's stepstool   (aka me)<br/>noya : lucky bastard<br/>asahi : homeless jesus<br/>daichi : dadchi<br/>suga : sugamama<br/>yamaguchi : an actual fucking angel<br/>tsukki : he angy<br/>kags : milkman<br/>hinata : cutie with legs </p><p> </p><p>im sorry yall i,, dont even got words for this fic just take this update</p><p>oh but btw!!! take note of the dates and times!! this chapter takes place the next day &lt;333</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Monday, April 8th, 7:23 AM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: so it has come to my attention</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: omg something caught ur attention for more than 3 seconds!! congratulations </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: shut up  minifridge easy bake oven 3000 (circa 2006)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: nishinoya yu, found dead in miami, career ended, more at 11</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: shut up discount kimizuki</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: SHIT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SHOTS FIRED </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: same bitch different font &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: anyways</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i havent finished giving everyone nickname syet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: nickname syet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool removed he angy from the group chat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lucky bastard added he angy to the group chat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: anyways (pt 2 : electricc boogaloo)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Kiyoko’s nickname to an actual fucking goddess please step on m</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>an actual fucking goddess please step on m changed their nickname to Kiyoko</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kiyoko </b>
  <span>: no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : yes ma’am’st</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Hinata Shouyou’s name to cutie with legs </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : :o that’s so nice of u!! but why the “with legs” part?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : hes referencing the fucking orange dumbass </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you’re a dumbass orange with legs </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… dumbass </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: “dumbass” - kageyama tobio </span>
</p><p>
  <span>2020</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: oh.. ok </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>:)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard</b>
  <span> : now look what u did </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard</b>
  <span> : you ruined a perfectly good child </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>look at it! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s got the Big Sad now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: it’s ok guys really </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : he’s sulking next to the vending machine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : no I’m not?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : bokehinataboke.png</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: this is cyberbullying </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m literally not even crying it’s just me eating,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: Whose bullying Hinata? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : can we talk abt that png title</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: tanaka n kags </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ur gonna just ignore it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: Okay. Thank you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama</b>
  <span> : …. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>angrydaichi.png </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Y’all done it now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: @</span>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> can u put in a good word to god for me pls thx </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: why would u ask me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ok.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard</b>
  <span> : dude theres NO way ur meeting god</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u’ll pull up to the gate n gabriel will be like no &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u smell like stale cheeto puffs why tf would they let you meet the creator of the universe </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : stfu </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>its not like god would wanna meet your gremlin ass either </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: you fool</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’ve already met god </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she slapped me &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kiyoko</b>
  <span> : and i’d do it again</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>two shay</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>bakc to business </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: bakc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool removed he angy from the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lucky bastard added he angy to the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Yachi’s nickname to the sweetest person ever</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the sweetest person ever</b>
  <span> : o////o tyvm,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: i speak fax and fax only </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: cap</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : i will fold your ass </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lucky bastard </b>
  <span>: i’ll steal your toes baldy </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they cost 250$ apiece on the black market bitch try me </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool : ,,,</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed lucky bastard’s nickname to gremlin bastard </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: you fucking bet i am i’ll put pushpins in your cereal</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: thats not being a gremlin thats just committing a hate crime</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: bet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: :(( </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fine,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: thank you &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: gay </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: u would know abt that wouldnt u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he angy left the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard added he angy to the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: anyways tanaka continue </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: absolutely my good sir </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>only one (1) more person left to violate </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>time to step into </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: oh dear god please no </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed Ennoshita’s name to local cryptid</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : @</span>
  <b>local cryptid</b>
  <span> my good sir where r u</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: Maybe HE’S IN CLASS? THE WAY YOU ALL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>two shay (pt 2 electricc boogaloo)</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>3:32 PM </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>local cryptid </b>
  <span>: wait what </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yall see what i did,, with the pt 2 electricc boogaloo,, ahahahaa ha aah aahahada im funny </p><p>anyways anyone who gets the kimizuki reference has amazing taste hes amazing we love snarky blondes in this household </p><p>first one to say where hes from might get a shoutout if i fucking remember for once to do this shit</p><p>come watch me yell on the tl at @senkusIut on twt! (the l is an i because im big brain)</p><p>ehlloanahhahaahahaha reminder that im an actual simp for comments,,, aahahhaa,,, also if u like mha go read my todobaku fics,,,(*&amp; maybe?? idk ahahaha just a suggestion ahahahaahahahahhadah... unless ,..,,,? </p><p>IM SORRY I HAD THREE CUPS ON COFFEE AND IM IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AS I TYPE THISKHBFVHK anyways ill go now thank you for reading &lt;333</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. back at it again with the existential dread</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gremlin bastard : and yall thot TSUKKI was mean,,</p><p> </p><p>kiyoko’s stepstool : he is</p><p> </p><p>milkman : he is</p><p> </p><p>cutie with legs : he is</p><p> </p><p>homeless jesus : he is</p><p> </p><p>an actual fucking angel : he is</p><p> </p><p>the sweetest person ever : he is</p><p> </p><p>Kiyoko : he is </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sahahahaha take this update and go</p><p>also update schedule is still tuesdays but i might miss some weeks! as of posting my country is still the laughingstock of the world bc of the failed pandemic, so i've got a lot to do, and im participating in 2 bangs!! granted i'm only betaing in one, i'm still working on my piece for the other and have a bunch of stuff to juggle, i really am sorry if i end up missing some weeks!! :(( this fic is very fun for me though, and thank you all so much for reading!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13th, 11:42 AM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: guys wait,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>were u serious about the simulation???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: What? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: dw abt it guys </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: Coming from you, it’s even more concerning</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: @</span>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> no it was a joke,, are you ok</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : but what if ur right? What if we really do live in a simulation and god is some sadistic 12 year old who wants to watch us all suffer?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: what the fuck did you do </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you broke him?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : existentialcrisisboke.png </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he broke him </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : OK LISTEN,, ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I DIDN TTHINJ HE WOULD TAKE IT SERIOSULY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: u really thought hinata would be smart enough to tell u were joking?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ok look,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : JUST FIX HIM </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: what if we dont actually exist,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: dumbata has a point</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what if nothing is real </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : sheeeeeeet man theyre right,,, what if nothing actually exists and the world is actually a snow globe</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: what if we’re like,, in a book or sum shit </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: who gives a shit as long as its not fanfiction idc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: literally ANYTHING but ff dear god please no </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: …</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: none of you have any way of confirming whether or not you exist </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so u all very well may be in a ff, a show, a book, a simulation, or this actually exists</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT WORSE </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: im bored </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: You could’ve just asked me to come over earlier, you know</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : OHOHOHOHO </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: dear god, Daichi what have you done</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span> : LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HEERE,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DAOCHI GOING TO SUAGS PLACE&gt;&gt;*(&amp;????/</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: Nishinoya. Tanaka. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: you cant stop me this time suga </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>youve given me all the information i need </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: look at what you’ve done</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: I’m sorry Kou</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : *&amp;^%$# BFRUHIV</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>YAL OVN FIRST NAME BNASIS NOW?&gt;)(*&amp;^%</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: OMG </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NVKJSF</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: we’ve literally been on a first name basis for like a year</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>did literally none of u notice</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : we knew but now its relevant </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and makes more sense given the context ;)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: there’s no context but go off</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : thanks we will </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>sugamama </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>sugamama is offline </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: And that’s my cue</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadchi is offline</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed the group chat title to “( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadchi is online</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: I hate it here</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadchi changed the group chat title to “Karasuno crows!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dadchi is offline </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : bruh</span>
</p><p>
  <span>anyways how much u wanna bet theyre a thing</span>
</p><p>
  <span> I bet 250 yen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : 300 on mutual pining</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: 250 yen says Daichi made the first move</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : dont bet on their relationship!! Thats rude!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I think they’re already together though and are waiting to tell us</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : 400 yen they were dancing around each other for like half a year</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : @</span>
  <b>Kiyoko</b>
  <span> do u wanna get in on this </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kiyoko </b>
  <span>: No.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>300 yen says they get together by the end of the month.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another 150 that suga makes the first move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : you’ve corrupted kiyoko</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : LIES AND SLANDER</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>KIYOKO IS THE EBODIMENT OF PURITY AND RGACE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : "ebodiment"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool removed he angy from the group chat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: SHUT THE FUCUK UP</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b><span> : ASAHI HODW COULD U</span> <span>SAY THAT ABOUT IKYOKO</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an absolute fucking angel</b>
  <span> : guys i just got here but </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tananoyacrying.png </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whats going on?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: why r u with them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an absolute fucking angel </b>
  <span>: noya asked tsukki and i to come over yesterday</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : since when are you guys so close</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an absolute fucking angel</b>
  <span> : noya was very.. persistent in establishing a friendship with tsukki. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : “persistent” - yamyam 2k20</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : @</span>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> ur like the only one who didnt notice </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : yeah man even I knew</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: u know its bad when even the dumbest person on the team figures it out before u</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>well at least im</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: and yall thot TSUKKI was mean,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the sweetest person ever </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kiyoko :</b>
  <span> he is </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: he is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : why did u join in</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: i wanted to join in too :((</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: v valid my good sir</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : ok but r u guys sure this isn’t a sim </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : anyways </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard added he angy into the group chat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : I thought I was going to be freed from the absolute hell that is this group chat what the fuck </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : that’s the longest sentence I’ve heard you say in like three months </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : yeah. Half the sentences I say are longer than you are tall, aren’t they? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : HE COMIN IN HOT </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DAMN </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : DIDNT HESITATE EITHER </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hate it here </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : love u too</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>can someone PLEASE comment good daichi and suga names because these r the only names my peabrain could think of and its so heteronormative,,  truly i cant stand it </p><p> thank you so much!! i dont remember if ive said it on ao3 but i did on twt (@senkusIut w/ capital i) that its inspired by a gc on twt called picnic (when did it stop being picnic blosh? i have no idea what goes on i love it) and theyre all the sweetest people on the planet! thank you for reading!</p><p>also obligatory begging for comments because (*&amp;^%$ THERYE AMAZIGN ILY ALL SO MUCH UR ALL SO NICE TO ME</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. we be whisperin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gremlin bastard : Hinata’s Career, 2020-2020, it will be missed </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[shows up a fucking month late with starbucks] get in bitches we're going stalking </p>
<p>a wild plot appears </p>
<p>Please Understand That I Am Attempting,,,, but google docs has been a BITCH and its giving me such a hard time, to the point where i had to make a second doc and i hadnt even hit the 30 pg mark,, im rlly sorry for the wait!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 2:46 PM</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: so </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: no </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,,, </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>get fukt </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: &lt;3 </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : . </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>gremlin bastard has removed he angy from the group chat </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: what did you have to say noya? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: he just wanted to talk to y’all,,, tsukki yams n I just left his place like 5 secs ago </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: :c </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel </b>
  <span>: awww noya :((( ill ask tsukki if he wants to come over again tomorrow!! We can study at your place if that’s ok </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : I’ll buy snaccs </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel </b>
  <span>: he says he would rather chop off his fingers, which means we’ll be there at noon &lt;3 </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: yamaguchi = tsukki translator 3000 </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel</b>
  <span> : he’s not that hard to understand if you get to know him well enough!! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>noya’s already pretty good at it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: call me tsukki whisperer</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>i be whisperin </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : he be whisperin </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: we be whisperin </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: we be whisperin </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: is it just me or did they both just send the message at the exact same time </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : im pretty sure they’re telepathic and entirely in sync with each other </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: bet u cant imagine being in sync with someone </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anyone whose been w u on the court knows its real hard for u dumbnata</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: the kid deadass breathed </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : you’re one to talk, Kageyama “i’ll play volleyball all by myself and win” Tobio</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I’LL FOLD YOU</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : SHEEEEEEET THEY AT IT AGAIN </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span>: you could try you bumbling clumsy,, tree man </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: almost had it bud</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : Hinata’s Career, 2020-2020, it will be missed &lt;/3</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : he said “thats why yo shoes raggedy” n kagz did not HESITATE to clap back with “thats why yo mama dead”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : dead as hell </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>*dramatic drums*</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>what shoes she got on in ha casket</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : [dramatic drums pt 2 electricc boogaloo]</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> thats why yo granny aint got no knees</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : whats happening</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : she cant pray to jesus, bitch, how bout that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : they hijacked your argument</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : cant play double dutch no more</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : the other girl, cryin : </span>
  <em>
    <span>get out my car</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : thats why yo- yo baby got a,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : </span>
  <em>
    <span>g-get outta my car</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : how long is that audio</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : about thirty seconds</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span> : - got a glass eye,,, and when she cry u gotta clean it with windex, bitch</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>i’ll get out yo car, fuck</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> :</span>
  <em>
    <span> outta my car,,,</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : AND SCENE </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>nice job man such a 5 star actor</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ur delivery of the “thats why yo granny aint got no knees, bitch” was iconic</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>hey is daichi still at suga’s house?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span>: shit u rite u rite</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : omg</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>should we???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : we absolutely should</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool removed Dadchi and sugamama from the groupchat </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>gremlin bastard added he angy to the groupchat </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>gremlin bastard changed the group chat name to “TEATIME BITCHES”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : what,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus : </b>
  <span>we dont even know what they’re doing what tea is there rn</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : you fool</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : have you literally never watched a movie before </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ITS STAKEOUT TIME </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: thats literally the worst idea you’ve had since the expo windex thing </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : actually it isnt because this time we arent drinking chemicals </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>and youre not invited either, COWARD </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>smh my head u didnt even drink the cleaner with us</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>u just kept saying how we were going to die from drinking chemicals and asked us to call poison control</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: ,,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: like wtf why would u call poison control </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>when we make choices we STICK TO THEM</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>the consequences r included </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : how the fuck are you two still alive </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: the secret is be dumb enough to enjoy being in mortal peril </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>but smart enough to survive it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : you two dont fit the second criteria </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>so that must mean its only a matter of time until i’m finally freed </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>thats it im taking u with us on the stakeout </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : BITCHHHH GO OFF</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : your colorful commentary would be better suited while we watch what dadchi is doing at sugamama’s house</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>,,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ewwww </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dadchi? Sugamama? Thats so stinky heteronormative grossss </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>they’re the gayest thing since rupauls drag race</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>when they come back let’s change sugas nickname </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>daichi will remain a father of ten</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>poor soul</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : perfect its settled </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>until then : we w a i t and w a t c h </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : BETTT </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>tsukki im gonna pick u up rn then we’ll meet tana at suga’s place </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : you could pick literally anyone else for this </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : yeah but you’re the one least likely to get us caught cause you know better than to let dadchi catch u on sum sus shit</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>fucking fine</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : LETS GOOOOOOOOO</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : may god have mercy on us all</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>local cryptid</b>
  <span> : hey guys whats up </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>,,,,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nvm</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>FUN FACT THE EXPO DRY ERASE BOARD CLEANING SPRAY THING?? i actually did that,, it tasted spicy &lt;3</p>
<p>someone please put tananoya on a fucking leash,, theyve kidnapped tsukki and pretended theyre staking out at some villains house (coincidentally, ive been watching criminal minds and last night i had a dream suga was a serial killer but he had so many fuckin bitches the fbi couldnt get to him bc of his swarm of fans and oikawa got jealous and contemplated murder because suga "stole my bitches") </p>
<p>anyways obligatory begging for comments because they make me Big Serotonin,,, i also just want to talk about platonic tsukkinoya with yall in the comments becauase u can pry their friendship from my cold dead hands </p>
<p>well thank you so much for reading! i'm sorry for the long wait, im trying my best to fix the problems ive been having! ive still been having issues with other stuff and the pandemic too, so ill try my best to keep updating, but i dontt want to burn out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the Bureau of Barbie's Bad Bitches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gremlin bastard : tsukki i get it that u tryna give off that “im homophobic” vibe but youre literally one of the gayest men ive seen in my entire life</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Whats This,,, An Update On Time???</p><p>hello yes I Am Sticking To My Update Schedule,, google docs is still fucking with me but i Refuse to use word doc because idk shit abt itand it Scares me,, so hopefully i can fix it and get the updates finished fast enough to have enough done ahead of time again </p><p>anyways henlo i am once again Updating Mid-Class,,,, i have A Lot Of Projects now </p><p>thank u guys for reading this chatfic ! its kinda comforting for me to write it and its just rlly laid back and calming for me, so the reception of the last chapter (20 comments in three hours?? holy fucking shit??? that makes me so happy thank you??? i love u all sm??) really helped pick me up and I felt great about it, so thank you so much yall that means sm to me</p><p>please enjoy, as a thank you, tananoya being barbie bitches and tsukki being a barb,, (its canon he listens to nicki minaj furudate told me himself &lt;3)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 3:28 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : its time for a status report, bois</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: folks its been roughly forty (40) minutes and I Am Tired</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : you’re one to talk im the one keeping both you idiots from getting us caught</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and he meant a status report on operation daisuga, dumbass</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>not how ur doing, stupid</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard : </b>
  <span>i was gettin to that part, meanie :cc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span>: damn,, u rude asf dino boi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just get on with the damn status report, thing 1 and thing 2</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : well since u want it so much &lt;333 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> :...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : targets 1D (daichi) and 2S (suga) were spotted through their window Canoodling (read : speaking and smiling at each other) upon our arrival at designated SpySpot</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shortly thereafter they were found Cooking (note : SpySpot had to be reevaluated to see through kitchen window with minimal ((a lot of)) difficulty) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>let it also be noted that apparently Suga cannot cook for shit, and daichi led the majority of the cooking</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was so domestic and cute</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span> : disgusting*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : tsukki i get it that u tryna give off that “im homophobic” vibe but youre literally one of the gayest men ive seen in my entire life</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> u kinda just sound like a tsundere my guy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ^^^</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just finish the damn report,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: ofc my good sir</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>targets 1D and 2S sat down in their living room (which required another relocation) to eat and talk,  and we believe that Daichi Was Blushing For A Moment</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : :o</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstol</b>
  <span> : I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>IT WAS A BLUSHY BOI</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : yes it  was indeed a blushy boi,,  And Now The Continuance Of The Report</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ofc ofc my good sir Carry On</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ok well </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The targets then Moved To Suga's Room</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>regardless of what actually happened we will now be moving forward with the assumption that they Did The Do</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : they did what??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy : </b>
  <span>,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yall in for it now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: you were with us too bro </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate u guys</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : what did they do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : Yeah Guys What Were They Doing</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : TSUKKI PLEASE DONT ENABLE THEM THEY WILL ABSOLUTELY TELL HIM</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie  with legs </b>
  <span> omg wait n i know</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u cant blame us for this now we didnt say shit </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’’s bastard</b>
  <span> : ^^^</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs</b>
  <span> : its h*ld*ng h*nds isnt it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyokok’s tepstool </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy : ,,,</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : yes &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : anyways </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they’ve been in there for half an hour now and we assume that they are stil,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>H o l d i n g  h a n d s &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : yes, holding hands &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : please stop spying on them, if not for the sake of their privacy then for your own safety </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : no &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : :cc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fine we call it off when we see them leave the room again &gt;:c</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ccc:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate it here</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: whipped </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : shut the fuck up i’ll show everyone ur barbie collection</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : YOU shut the fuck up barbie was a fucking cultural reset and the BACKBONE of my childhood</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there’s a REASON skinny legend Nicky Minaj calls her fans Barbz</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the barbie franchise is a BAD BITCHES ONLY event !! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i was gonna make fun of u but for once you’ve said something that makes sense </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’ve still never seen a single barbie movie in my life though i just know nicki minaj does queen shit and queen shit only</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : bro what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THATS IT. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>STAKEOUT CANCELLED.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>WE NEED TO GO ON A BARBIE BINGE ASAP </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: is old movies about fictional white girls performing witchcraft really that important to get u to stop meddling in daichi and suga’s lives</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>who the fuck am i kidding ofc it is </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dont add them back to the gc till we’re far enough away from sugas house that daichi can’t find and murder us</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : are you not going to ask me before fucking kidnapping me to watch movies about victorian era white girls</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ofc not tf do u think that this is optional??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@homeless jesus COME TO TANAKAS HOUSE ITS BARBIE TIME BITCH </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>better than stalking someone </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is this a sleepover-binge or are we eventually going to be given our freedom again </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>cutie with legs </b>
  <span>: :o u guys r gonna have a barbie sleepover?  omg i wanna come!! can i come? can we play volleyball before we start?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : stfu stupid </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Milkman has changed cutie with leg’s nickname to small bitch </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : you fool </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gremlin bastard has changed cutie with leg’s nickname to smol babie decoy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: hes not a baby he’s just a tiny stupid bastard </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: and whats wrong with small bastards, huh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: OH SHIT </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : LMAOOOOO </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy </b>
  <span>: ha ha ur in trouble </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : stfu stupid idiot </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : you’ve been officially Uninvited to the barbie binge, you arent worthy of joining the Bad Barbie Bitches organization</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>your request to achieve bad bitch status has been denied </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : SHIT </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BRO THATS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ARE YOU SURE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: if kageyama stops using short as an insult, the Bad Bitches High Council will reconsider the rescinding of his license qualifications</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : omg such big words from such a small peabrain </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : omg such rude words from a fucking Barnie &amp; Friends stannie</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : sheet man u goin the fucc off tonite </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: ,,, fine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : then the Bureau of Barbie’s Bad Bitches accepts you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>bring ur lightning mcqueen jammies n a pillow to the function &lt;3  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate it here</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tysm for reading my fic ! as usual, here's an obligatory reminder im Desperate for comments at all times because theyre so sweet, and i hope you liked it !  up next : The Impromptu Sleepover (that will NOT be the chapter title,,, i REFUSE to have genuinely good chapter titles)</p><p>but anyways have a nice day/night/afternoon and thank you again for reading !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. h o l d i n g h a n d s</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gremlin bastard : noya cant come to the phone rn he’s busy getting hoes</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im either a fucking monnth late or one (1) day no inbetween &lt;3</p><p>someone send an ambulance im in like 5 events and i have a shitload of classwork to do,, </p><p>anyways a wild baddie suga appears, bow down bitches cause the real king just pulled up</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 5:18 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool added Dadchi and sugamama into TEATIME BITCHES</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed the groupchat name to its barbie time </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed sugamama’s nickname to serial seditionist suga</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: ngl i dont mind this </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>WHY?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial sedition suga </b>
  <span>: sedition means to rebel against the authorities </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: when has suga ever stopped us because of the LAW dadchi </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ^^^^^</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suga doesnt stop us bc we’d get in trouble he stops us because hes the baddest bitch, in both senses, not us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: ;)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : Please remove me again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: PLEASE NO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DONT LEAVE ME HERE ALONE WITH THEM AGAIN </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I BEG OF YOU</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : why were we removed in the first place</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: well</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: DONT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we were just organizing a barbie binge and thot u two were too busy,, talking &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: and h o l d i n g h a n d s </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>WHAT DID YOU DO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : nothing noya just said we’re planning a barbie binge</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : yes they are indeed, definitely going to binge barbie movies tonight</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they’ve already kidnapped tsukki, kageyama, hinata, yamaguchi, and ennoshita</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They let ennoshita go bc he had to do something for like a cousin or smth but they’ve also kidnapped me, so we’re at tanaka’s house waiting while his sister goes out to buy us snacks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dont fucking trust u guys ur holding something back and clearly asahi knows its bad enough that u guys wont survive if we know what it is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : omg ur so perceptive </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: yes i am, but thats not why i figured that out so quickly</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>youre all just fucking dumb as shit </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>noya </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: noya cant come to the phone rn he’s busy getting hoes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : Nishinoya Yu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : we were outside ur house because we thot u and daichi were doin the devils tango </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was tanakas idea</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tsukki didnt stop us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>asahi tried </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we didnt take the problem children</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>please dont kill me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>take tanaka instead</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Good job Suga</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : all in a days work my dude</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what r we gonna do with them </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : BRO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>YOU RATTED US OUT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : YOU SAW SUGA USING MY FULL FUCKING NAME</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AT LEAST WE HAVE A C H A N C E OF SURVIVAL NOW SINCE WE TOLD HIM</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : i didnt do shit so </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ur the ones who arent gonna survive to get to the 12 dancing princesses movie </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’d be a miracle that u’d even get to swan lake </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : how do u know the names of the barbie movies and their chronological order,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> i thot u said u never saw one </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> :,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i wanted to know what the fuck you guys were going to drag me into so i googled it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : sure bud &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>noya activate file plan angy-dino-boi-barbie-bitch-makeover plan 46</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> we got a code bedazzled pink here in the midst of a serial seditionist (and killer) suga meltdown emergency</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> i’ll get the tutus but we need something to defend ourselves while we take the dino boi and r u n </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : DEFENSE IS USELESS AGAINST SUGA YOU FOOL </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : all hope is gone </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>pack ur bags he cant follow us past europe</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we’re keeping tsukki for leverage </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : youre both fucking neanderthals if you think im going anywhere with you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span>: my dude u deadass came with us to the stakeout WITHOUT A FIGHT and now you’re here ready to earn ur bad bitch barbie patch for ur bad bitch sash </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seems a lot like ur willing to follow us anywhere we go &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : shut the fuck up stupid ass idiot ur a chihuahua but all ur malice is replaced by loudness</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: ok tsukishima “i cant express my feelings normally or give my all to the things and people i love because of my crippling insecurities and general inability to be open and honest about how i feel and what i think of other people” kei </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span>: WELL SHIT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span> : its ok tsukki we love u in spite of all of ur general shitty-human-being-ness, the fact that ur gay as fuck kinda cancels it all out</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>tana my dude u read tsukki like a BOOK </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: next thing u kno this mf gone realize we his found family or sum other shit like realizing that its ok for him to want to seek a safe space among his friends</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>if tsukki’s tsundere gay ass didnt wanna be so clearly percieved and genuinely understood for who he was he shouldnt have decided to be friends with us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : no the fuck i didnt </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : you did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : you did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: you did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel </b>
  <span> : you did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : when the fuck did agree to be friends with you rats </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: u want the list in alphabetical or chronological order </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was all just u being gay and a tsundere about it but we read u like a book n u were SCREAMING "i desperately need to learn how to accept myself and try my best regardless of whether or not i'll fail" type vibes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ur not that hard to understand, ur just an asshole but gay about it &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate you all</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : no u dont &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>well maybe kageyama </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u pick on the kid so much</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>like damn let the kid breathe</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ^^^ PERIODDD SUGA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: youve got a lot of nerve tryna speak to me after stalking me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span>: ,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>syugha aplkoea sse dont hurrt me i jsus wana watchbarbie movcuies i beg of yo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>PLEADXSE NOkl</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: ??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>whats going on??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : WE WERE FOOLS TO GOTO UKAIS STORE,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HE USED OUR GROUIPSCHAT AS A DISTRACOTION TO FIND UAS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HE S GOT NOYA </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I HAD OT LFEEE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>IM SO CAZRED</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SEND HKEP</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tanakafleeingforhislife.mp4</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : thats just 20 seconds of you running, screaming, and begging for your life</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i think i heard noya begging for mercy in the background.. im so scared for you two but i know better than to go near you two with suga in the vicinity</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : thanks for the vid i know where that is &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : dear god im so scared for you two</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: lmao</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>rip two idiots (1996 - 2020)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: IM SLITLL ALOVE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : we’ll see about that &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : wig</span>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>homeless jesus</strong> : ,,,</p><p> </p><p>i hope they survive</p><p> </p><p><strong>he angy</strong> : i dont</p><p> </p><p><strong>serial seditionist suga</strong> : we get it already, ur a tsundere and ur trying to pretend u arent worried for them</p><p> </p><p><strong>he angy</strong> : .</p><p> </p><p>i hate it here</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank u sm for reading!! obligatory reminder i physically exist solely to check comments and kudos every three seconds NSJKSF this fic got so popular so quickly.. thank u all so much for not pressuring me to update and being so kind, patient and understanding!!  it really means a lot to me u guys &lt;33 im going to do my best to be as realistic as possible for what to put into this fic but there's some Ideas,, that i have that i might try and flesh out</p><p>im senkusIut on twt (the i is a L, im biggest brain) and tastefully-illiterate on tumblr! once again, tysm for reading, and i'll see you (hopefully) next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. can i get a waffle? can i PLEASE get a waffle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dadchi : is that worth literally having to peel those two off each other 24/7, whether its in a gay way or not</p><p> </p><p>actually i think its always in a gay way but</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the chapter title is basically asahi and yamaguchi the whole fucking chapter </p><p>someone please send an ambulance to tanaka's house im so sick of their shit and im literally writing it </p><p>anyways take this chapter away from me it was giving me brain damage</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 6:22 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Dadchi</b><span> : @</span><b>gremlin bastard</b><span> @</span><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b> <span>are you two okay u havent spammed us in like ten minutes</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kou what did u do to them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : c:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> :he just dropped both of them off saying he wont be joining us for barbie night, but to invite him next time because barbie was “a bad bitches only event, tanaka knows this, what the fuck was he thinking not inviting the baddest of bitches”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : i was a bit harsher on him for that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: how bad is the trauma </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : mostly psychological</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>theyre in tears while we watch the fairy princess movie </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>noya wont let go of tsukki, who looks wildly uncomfortable </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : end my suffering</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : yamaguchi is between kageyama and hinata so that they dont fight while the movie’s playing</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel</b>
  <span> : im trying my best but they keep finding new ways to bicker </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i feel wildly uncomfortable</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is it even possible for people to argue this much</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: neither of them even have their phones on, they turned them off to watch the movie and then immediately started fighting over which barbie movie was the best one</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> kageyama’s dead set on convincing hinata to admit swan lake is superior, but hinata's a fairy princess series supremacist</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop being a basic ass bitch kageyama swan lake stopped being iconic the second the fairy secret movie dropped”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh god</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shit</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hold on </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: what the fuck is happening over there</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadch</b>
  <span> : I don't think we want to know</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: bitch speak for yourself im here for the tea</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ok so</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tsukki got tired of seeing kageyqama and hinata harass yamaguchi through their “gay ass arguing, im tired of your bullshit” - tsukki, and instigated a fght with both of them, and now tanaka and nishinoya are holding onto each other and crying still</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they turned up the volume of the movie bc of the arguing </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jhinata jusmpefd over tsukaki</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yamaguchi iss pullign hinata off while kavgeyam calles tudkk “uncultured swinee”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oimso scared send ehkp</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>plPOLEASE  SEND HLE[P</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : ill go</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: how can i know you’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> help the situation instead of worsen it </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : youll just have to trust me ;) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial sedtionist suga </b>
  <span>: ok so what asahi was trying to say before he got absolutely clocked in the fucking face by kageyama’s elbow (rip jesus icb he died twice) was that tsukki’s gay ass was like “stop harassing my soulmate you fucking idiots” and tried getting yamaguchi out from between kageyama and hinata </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then hinata was like “bitch stop interfering with my homosexually tense argument with ka-gay-ama” and did that one thing noya did to tsukki one time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Theres way too many things noya’s inflicted onto tsukki for me to know what u mean</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : he fuckin jus,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he jus,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fukcng jumped on that bitch and bit his arm and just hung there on him </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and then yamaguchi was like “why he touchin my man, where he GOIN with my man” and tried prying hinata off while tsukki and kageyama “swan lake supremacy” tobio started arguing about fucking?? which barbie was the baddest bitch?? I thought tsukki said he’d never seen barbie before??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tanaka and noya r stll in shock from our :) :) conversation :) :) from earlier and theyre just crying n holding each other n turning up the volume</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : how did u get there so fast </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : bold of you to assume i ever left</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why are you like this</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Asahi ennoshita and i are literally the only normal people on the entire goddamn team</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even yamaguchi has this weird ass thing for trying to buy shit even though he perpetually has like three cents on average</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why cant you all be fucking normal</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : ok but that freak quick </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we do be makin it to nationals doe &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: is that worth literally having to peel those two off each other 24/7, whether its in a gay way or not</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>actually i think its always in a gay way but</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only time they arent arguing is when we’re practicing and they still scream at each other</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And we literally had to put noya on a leash that one time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: we arent talking about that day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dont mention the leash i beg of you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>nobody knew he could chew through cloth,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : fine by me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whats going on now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : tanaka and noya r finally returning to reality and noya’s tryna see if asahi’s bruised so he can take care of him like the bisexual disaster he is, tanaka seems torn between enabling the violence and stopping everyone so they can watch the movie </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im considering going in rn </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>those fucking idiots havent noticed shit about me literally standing at the fucking window</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If they havent noticed by now they probably wont ever, u should go in soon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: ok bet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oop wait asahis grabbing his phone rn </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> what the fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : dont tell them </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> i wanna see how long it takes them </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>:  i hate it here </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>wait what about nishinoya being a bisexual disaster??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>local cryptd </b>
  <span>: hey what goes on hows that barbie binge going, sorry i couldnt make it </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,, i shouldnt have asked i already fucking knew </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>every time i open this groupchat i regret it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: me too</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tysm for reading !!! obligatory reminder i am perpetually begging for ao3 comments and would Highly Appreciate them NKSJB </p><p>you can scream at me at @senkusIut on twt (the L is an i) or tastefully-illiterate on tumblr !! (i still have no idea how tumblr works someone send help) </p><p>ill see u all next week !! i hope you liked it &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. he do be diseased doe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>he angy : why r u using fandom lingo</p><p> </p><p>gremlin bastard : i raise you : why do u know fandom lingo</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi sorry for missing last week its been a tough month for me but here i am with a thicc chapter &lt;3 it was too short so i combined it with ch9 as an apology,, but i think ur gonna want me to apologize again for doing this to them KNJSBVSO take this chapter and let me go i hate their dumbasses sm</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 6:54 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : how’s everything going over there, nobody’s hospitalized?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : im pretty sure i should be but no &lt;/3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : i can arrange that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : NO DONT OWRRY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>YOU DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHIGN GO SBCCK TO WATCHING THE MOVIE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : if ur sure :( &lt;/3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>daichiiiiiiii come over and watch the movies with us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>daiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiichiiiiiiiiiiiii</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : can u at least bring me a spare change of clothes bc its a sleepover and i forgot to pack some when i went to :) :) talk :) :) with tana and noya</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pleaseeeeeee ???? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>cutefaceforwheniwantshit.png</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>)(*&amp;^%e45^&amp;^_*&amp;%</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>actually wait u left some at my place the other day ill be over in a few</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you fucking dumbass,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : suga was blushing like fucking crazy at his phone what goes on </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>OH MY FUCKING GOD.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SAUG LEAVING LCOTHES AT DAICHI SPALCE/?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : WAIT WHAT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>WHAO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>OWA </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AN KJ LMALPJNCADNDS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AA AAAAAA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In clonclusion : theyre gay, your honor</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: IM SCREAMING CN AA AKSA K</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NAKNACJKAA AAAAAAAA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>RTHEYRE FUKCING GAYYYYYYYYY </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel</b>
  <span> : omg congrats u two</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: hes not lying theyre both literally screaming, hinata and kageyama are confused and tsukki isnt even surprised </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>please come quickly and send help</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>or maybe not</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it might make it worse </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh god they’re harassing suga rn</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : THEY WNONT GET OFF OF ME THREYV AWNT MY PJHONE </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>IMI GOING TO KILL THESE BASTArdsz</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEY WANT TO REDA OUR DM,S?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>FUCKFNIG</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ahhahahaaha daddychi would u like t</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ncal</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ndk</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : ??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I am. Wildly uncomfortable,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : theyre trying to take the phone still, that was noya texting from sugas phone and tsukki’s recording </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hes probably gonna get a bad video though, he keeps laughing </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: akssdb basby yy bo n </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DAICHDE BAWEBR JI AAasAzsgg </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : is going over even a good idea </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : just leave sugas pjs at the front door, and text us when ur far enough away to not be harassed </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel </b>
  <span>: do they know that sugas not the only one who left stuff at daichis place </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>don’t the third years always spend weekends together at daichis place </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span>: yeah but I don’t go as often as I’d like :( </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suga goes over and studies with him a lot </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kiyoko</b>
  <span> : that doesn’t help they still spend a lot of time together</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>sounds pretty gay to me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>which means you all owe me 450 yen </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : IKOOYK</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>YOU NEED 450 YEN? OAKY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: anyethifnf foryou ma’am’st </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga</b>
  <span> : their primal simping instinct saved me from their chimpanzee harassment </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : they deadass looked like chimps it’s so funny </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dumbassesharrassingmfs.mp4 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in unrelated news hinata i swear to god if your bite gives me rabies i’m making orange juice </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : what </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>orange juice? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : fucking idiot You Are Orange </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : ,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hope my bite gives u diseases stinkyshima </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : oop he do be bringing out da nicknames doe 😳</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: can we address the fact that hinata just admitted to being diseased </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: we already knew that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he asked me why i had vaccines and if i was gonna be ok</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>apparently they “give u cooties”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : wait what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i have cooties???</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : KAGYEAMA HAS COOTIES</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HAHAHAHAHAHAJ</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span>: this is old news </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : speaking of news</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : [vine reference voice] welcome back to me screaming !</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AAAAAAAAAAAA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>daisuga canon confirmed &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : why r u using fandom lingo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : i raise you : why do u know fandom lingo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : because you literally never leave my side and you basically speak another language </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>like a fucking alien</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : i do be an alien doe &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi </b>
  <span>: i hate it here</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>will i ever escape this</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : its only fitting that the person who made this groupchat would regret it the most</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : so you’re saying i did this to myself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : NO IM NOGT IM JUST,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Dadchi</b>
  <span> : its fine you’re right </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dear god what have i done</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Direct message from : daichi c:&lt; to kou-hee-hee</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 7:23 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : hey koushi, i’m really sorry about what happened. Did they stop?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is everything okay?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>kou-hee-hee is typing…</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>kou-hee-hee is inactive.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 13, 7:32 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Direct message from : daichi c:&lt; to kou-hee-hee</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> :  kou?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee</b>
  <span> : everything’s fine, you didn’t know what would happen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i honestly thought they wouldn’t figure it out considering how dumb they normally are </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they stopped when they realized i wasn’t gonna answer their questions so now they’re making kageyama fear for his life rn </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they’re telling him cooties are going to kill him before he gets to graduate</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : why are they like this </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i just wanted one (1) normal team </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee </b>
  <span>: i like it better this way </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : oh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee</b>
  <span> : well i mean theyre kinda like family </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in a weird way</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>its gay as fuck but like cute too</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kageyama and hinata are the two kids who keep fuckin bickering and everyone’s kinda like “just kiss already idiots” and at this point its only a matter of time before they do and they get a happy ending like the dumb gays they are</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tsukki’s taken a fat minute but he’s gotten closer to us all, especially noya, even if he wont admit to it, and he's growing so much</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>noya and tanaka’s bullshit is like our constant, know?? and asahi’s always there to fret and be who noya relies on, in rlly subtle but important (gay) ways</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i was a little concerned about yamaguchi feeling left out, but right now, seeing him fret over tsukki’s bitten elbow and calling hinata a gremlin from hell, i think we don’t have to worry about that anytime soon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : and where does that put us?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee </b>
  <span>: well</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i think we cancel each other out</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i enable their bullshit and make sure they know im the baddest of bitches, and you scare them out of getting themselves into too much trouble</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : we cancel each other out, and that’s it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there’s nothing left?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee </b>
  <span>: yeah, i guess </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We cancel each other out, and there’s nothing left </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>problems solved, arson avoided</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i dont mind it like that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Its fun, y’know?  Why mess with a good thing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : what if you could change it for the better?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee</b>
  <span> : daichi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>good things can only last so long</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>how long do you think something better would last?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : its not about time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and you know that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>some things are worth how fleeting they are</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you just have to take what you want before its gone</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee </b>
  <span>: everything is fleeting, daichi </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>why have something great for a few seconds when you can have something good for years</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im not about to get all deep and shit about team dynamics </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span> : you know exactly what this is about </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you kissed me, not the other way around </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so what was that about? another fleeting moment you won’t take? what if it’s something i wanted?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>are you scared it won’t last or are you scared it wont be enough? that you wont be enough? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>are you gonna step down and let someone else take the reins, take the whole damn horse and carriage away?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I want to be with you, and your fear of what would be best for everyone else can’t change that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>do what you want for you, for once</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>would it hurt to be a little selfish once in a while?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee</b>
  <span> : i need some time to think</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt;</b>
  <span>: of course </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>take all the time you need </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just promise me the choice you make will be what you want for you, not everyone </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee </b>
  <span>: i promise, daichi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...thank you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>daichi c:&lt; </b>
  <span>: take care of yourself, ok? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the clothes you asked for is at the front door</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kou-hee-hee</b>
  <span> : okay</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank u so much for reading !! means a lot to me &lt;33 obligatory reminder i physically exist to see the comment emails KJSNJF </p><p>im literally so tired rn </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. chapter (6)9 ;))))</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gremlin bastard : why the fuck do u want to fight bibble so goddamn badly </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao remember when i said i wasnt gonna update this week and then shat out 800 words for both this and the next chapter </p><p>anyways ANNOUNCEMENT !</p><p>there will be a oneshot releasing!! in the same universe as this chatfic!! it'll be attatched as a second series, and itll have whats going on between daichi and suga! (dude i deadass wrote it, all 10k, in like 4 days ksjnvs the brainrot is real) and itll come out after chapter 10, and replace the ch11 update the week after!</p><p>also im So Sorry,,, heres some nickname help </p><p>dadchi - deadchi </p><p>serial seditionist suga - suga</p><p>homeless jesus- asahi</p><p>kiyoko's stepstool - tanaka </p><p>gremlin bastard - noya</p><p>he angy - tsukki</p><p>milkman - kageyama</p><p>an actual fucking angel - yamaguchi</p><p>smol babie decoy - hinata </p><p>kiyoko - kiyoko</p><p>the nicest person ever - yachi </p><p>local cryptid - ennoshita</p><p> </p><p>[DM names]</p><p>bald baddie : tanaka's dm name with noya</p><p>easybake oven 3000 : noya's dm name with tanaka</p><p>tadashithead : yamaguchi's name for tsukki</p><p>okei, bye : kei's nickname for yamaguchi</p><p> </p><p>so sorry guys enjoy the chapter !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Saturday April 13, 7:52 PM </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>its barbie time</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b> : tsukki why the fuck u cryin so damn loud</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : im not crying thats noya </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : no im not i was the one crying in swan lake dummy </p><p> </p><p><b>milkman</b> : its dumbnata</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b> : why???</p><p> </p><p><b>milkman</b> : he texted his mom a question earlier </p><p> </p><p>apparently he was vaccinated as a child </p><p> </p><p>he’s sad because he has cooties now</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : i cant decide what to make fun of him for </p><p> </p><p>hes just so fucking stupid</p><p> </p><p><b>milkman</b> : well i bet u have cooties too</p><p> </p><p>he bit u remember</p><p> </p><p>either u already had it because u got vaccinated or u just got it bc of hinata</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b> : cant you all just watch the movie </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : no we have to go to the hospital now so tsukki can surgically remove the cooties</p><p> </p><p><b>smol babie decoy</b> : omg thats a good idea</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : have them remove ur brain too its clearly not doing u any good</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b> : please dont</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : shut up barbies boutta get some baddie rainbow wings rn </p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>: bitchhhh u kno wshe gon pull up like an epileptics nightmare, lookin like a mf SKITTLE with how much glitter she got on them shits</p><p> </p><p>she gonna be STUNTIN </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : hi for the normal people in the group chat What The Fuck Did You Just Say</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b> : i speak fax and fax only</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard </b>: he means that barbies gonna come out lookin like she went on x games mode </p><p> </p><p>she do be a baddie doe </p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>: bitchhhhh and what the fuck is bibble doing</p><p> </p><p>mf just gonna sit around and babble???</p><p> </p><p>babblin bibble bitchboy </p><p> </p><p>dumb clown ass mf I Will Punt Him</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : why the fuck do u want to fight bibble so goddamn badly </p><p> </p><p>i will tolerate No Bibble Slander in this christian minecraft server</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b> : why cant yall just watch the movie </p><p> </p><p>i beg of u</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : ,,, </p><p> </p><p>fine &gt;:c</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus </b>: thank u &lt;33</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : )(*&amp;^%</p><p> </p><p>its whatever </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Direct message from bald baddie to easybake oven 3000</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Saturday April 13, 8:22 PM </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : yo ur gay yearning is showing</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : fuck off i was watching iconic bad bitches get some baddie wings and then An Actual Angel thanked me for listening to him </p><p> </p><p>its called a Bisexual Breakdown</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie </b>: understandable have a nice day </p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : yo is it just me or has suga been seeming kinda off</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b>: off how</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : like smth is clearly going on with him n hes tryna pretend its not happening</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : like physically or mentally?</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : mentally </p><p> </p><p>did u see his nose and eyes were kinda red when he caught me at ukais store?</p><p> </p><p>i think something happened after we left the stakeout</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : what do u wanna do about it</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : not our business</p><p> </p><p>i dont want to pry</p><p> </p><p>he’ll tell us when he’s ready, or maybe this isnt anything hes able to talk about or something</p><p> </p><p>i think he would’ve talked to us about it by now </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : ok</p><p> </p><p>back to ur gay pining</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : cant we just talk about climate change or smth </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : is climate change gonna get ur pining ass railed</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : ,,,</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : i thot so</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : we arent talking abt this </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : even more reason to </p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven</b> <b>3000 </b>: dude hes Right There </p><p> </p><p>im probably still going to be gay panicking all week</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b>: u say that every week but go off</p><p> </p><p>U should make a move tho</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : ,, </p><p> </p><p>(*&amp;^%</p><p> </p><p>no &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie </b>: wow i didnt know bisexuals have to pay monthly in braincells to be gay</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : i cant even respond to that</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : just try</p><p> </p><p>you never know dude</p><p> </p><p>asahi hasnt really shown any indicator he likes u only platonically right</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : dude i really dont know </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : just take a risk</p><p> </p><p>and if it doesnt turn right, move on</p><p> </p><p>asahi wouldnt give u shit for it, and you know that</p><p> </p><p>and if it really doesn’t go well i’ll be here with cursed ice cream flavors and barbie movies</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : thanks </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : ofc bro</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b> : now watch the fucking movie </p><p> </p><p>if u slander bibble one (1) more time im eating ur sugar cookies</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b> : sounds like a hate crime but go off </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Wednesday April 17th, 2:43 PM  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b> : why has the gc been so dead lately :((</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : heresy </p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>: deja vu</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b> : i think everyone should just have their space for a little while <br/><br/></p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : yeah but we dont have to like entirely cut each other out ykno</p><p> </p><p>speaking of, tsukki ur coming to my house today no excuses </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : why do u literally always drag me into ur shit</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : why do u literally always let me do it</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b> : ,,, </p><p> </p><p>touche, you idiot bastard boy </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b> : love u too &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: .</p><p> </p><p>he angy has left the groupchat.</p><p> </p><p>gremlin bastard has added he angy to the group chat </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard </b>: anygays </p><p> </p><p><b>an actual fucking angel </b>: actually tsukki can’t! we have plans today </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard </b>: that’s gay </p><p> </p><p>go ahead but now tana owes me 200¥ ;))</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>: F U C K E</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>dm from okei, bye to tadashithead</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Wednesday April 17th, 2:49 PM </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>okei, bye </b>: so what plans exactly do we have? </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank u so much for reading !! im so sorry for taking Literally Three Months to post a guide im just big stupid</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A WILD BLUSHY BOI APPEARS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dadchi : brb i need to google the symptoms of heart palpitations </p><p> </p><p>kiyoko’s stepstool : understandable have a nice day</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi please dont kill me for the cliffhanger last chapter i swear tsukkiyama will be ok.. eventually</p><p>also ANNOUNCEMENT pt 2 electricc boogaloo : the daisuga fic is coming out next tuesday in place of an update!</p><p>and ive gotten like 3 chapters ahead now kvjnfskvfs i love writing this fic sm </p><p>this chapter update is Very Long compared to my usual ones and im p sure the ones following r longer too so take this big bitch and enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wednesday, April 17th, 2:57 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tadashithead </b>
  <span>: im sorry for lying, kei </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> that was super impulsive of me </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i just </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we haven’t been spending as much time together yknow </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and that isn’t an excuse </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i shouldve asked first </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>okei, bye</b>
  <span> : but we’ve been hanging out </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tadashithead </b>
  <span>: yeah, with everyone else </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but that’s everyone hanging out </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there’s all of us, but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>us </span>
  </em>
  <span>us you know?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>okei, bye </b>
  <span>: you could’ve just told me you know </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tadashithead </b>
  <span>: would you have told me if you felt this way? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>okei, bye </b>
  <span>: that’s not fair </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tadashithead </b>
  <span>: it is and you know it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hell, you could’ve been feeling the same way this entire time and just not said shit </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i saw the look u had on your face when i was with kageyama and hinata Saturday night </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>okei, bye</b>
  <span> : and i saw the face you made at nishinoya when he was literally just crying at a fucking Barbie movie, and happened to be next to me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so what’s this really about?? Huh? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is this really about how much time we’ve spent together? Or is it how you feel? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tadashithead </b>
  <span>: fuck you, kei</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you know you’d do the exact same shit if not worse, or nothing at all </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so fucking what if i want to spend more time with my best friend right </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>have fun at Noya’s place </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>it’s barbie time </b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Friday April 19th, 7:26 PM </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: fuckitgotweirdinherememe.jpg </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>y’all dead as fuck </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : dude like four of us got into arguments, and i’ve barely seen tsukki and yamaguchi outside of practice</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : it would be 6 but we stopped counting kageyama and hinata because they’re just like that now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> stop being gay so loudly pls n thank u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> : how r we gay </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : whats so gay about us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i literally cant stand him </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: he smells like sweat and stupid </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy </b>
  <span>: oh yeah well u smell like spoiled milk and homeless man </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : hey now don’t take it too far, gays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : thank u </span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin</b> <b>bastard</b><span> : CLEARLY asahis gotta be the one that smells homeless </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>pick another adjective buddies all the homeless ones belong to stoned jesus </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>wait stoned now?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>did i look stoned at the training camp? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : no i’ve just seen stoners w the haircut u have</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>all u need is a beanie and the Hobo Attire and you’ve got yourself a stoner costume </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anyways kageyama and hinata if i catch u guys having another homosexual argument i can and will blast 80s r&amp;b </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Am I Understood </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: no </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>idk how it’s gay for us to fight </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : give it a rest noya he won’t figure it out for a long time </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i give it a year </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MAYBE only 10 months for idiot #2 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ok but what if I played queen </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dodie </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hayley kiyoko </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lorde </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>girl in red</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Panic at the disco </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they HAVE to get the message </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : KYIOSOK? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh idk her </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>thot we was talking abt goddesses &lt;/3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : she’s a gay goddess with iconic music</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mad respecc for her </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : two goddesses who share names </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i will devote my Entire Life to supporting both of them </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: i mean stream her music ig but she’s already got support from the gays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>continue simping as usual </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko deserves our full 100% simpery dedicated to her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: as u should </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : OH MY GOD </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>+]€{*~€~{€~!€~!{£ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AASAAOFIOWDJOSJALDKF</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool : </b>
  <span>WEVE SUMMOKNRD HER</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: THE SIMPERY IS WORKING?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: APDJCIFJEOFJ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>IKYOOODO GEOWI</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HENLO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HI KIYOKOK</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko</b>
  <span> : ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>this is my cue to leave </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yalluglybyevine.mp4 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: god has abandoned us all </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: solution : arson</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: please don’t </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: &gt;:c </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus </b>
  <span>: :((</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: gay </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard has removed kiyoko’s stepstool from the group chat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard has added kiyoko’s stepstool into the group chat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : anyways </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: &lt;/3 &lt;/3 icb im not committing arson for once </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial seditionist suga </b>
  <span>: lmao ur loss bitch, i am </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : SUGAAAAAAA </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>serial seditionist suga changed their nickname to serial arsonist suga </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: as it should be </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : the balance has been restored </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im glad ur back </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : had to take a break, even a baddie like me can only handle being around you dumbasses for so long </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : can I get a break too </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: I think with as much as what you went through u could probably just retire </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : oh thank god </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>bye everyone I’m going to go sleep for sixteen hours </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> :gn</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> im going to Not Do That </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and spend some time with my boyf :))) </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: told u all u owed me 400 yen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : wait wait wait we cant just yet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we have to know when and how they got together</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but your majesty if i win the bet ill give all the money to you </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>every single piece of it that i have </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Would u like my wlwalet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Im bringing u my walmet</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : u can have my 3wallet tgotooo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>take our money kiyoko</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : u fuckers bet on us</span>
</p><p> </p><p>why r u talking like this isnt news</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : are all of u forgetting who bet what </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tsukki’s the one who bet 400 yen that they were mutually pining for around 6 months</span>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>serial arsonist</strong> <strong>suga : </strong>hold the fuck on u remember the bets </p><p> </p><p>
  <span><strong>homeless jesus : </strong>kiyoko bet 450 they were together by the end of the month and that suga made the first move</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tanaka bet they were already a thing </span>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>serial arsonist</strong> <strong>suga</strong> : ,,,,</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><strong>homeless jesus</strong> : noya bet they were mutual pining at the time the bets were made</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suga who won??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span> : first of all fuck all of u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>none of u were even surprised we started dating</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>second of all tsukki kiyoko and noya won</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : YOU MAKDE THE FRIST MOVE/?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DANMB E SUGA GO OFF </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>AND I OOP</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : i regret So Much </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mostly unmuting this gc </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im remuting and going back to eating snacks with daichi </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: that’s a lie he’s literally going to just lay on my lap and make a playlist while he looks at the notifs</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : do i detect simpery </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is that simpery i see from self proclaimed baddie suga </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: shut the fuck up i’ll sell your fingernails on the black market </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a bad bitch doesn’t simp </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: hes blushing isn’t he </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : koublushing.jpg </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he’s blushing &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : WELL LOOKIE HERE </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>LOOK WHAT WE HAVE FOLKS </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: i hate it here </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : A WILD BLUSHY BOI APPEARS </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>saving that for totally-not-blackmail purposes </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: hes covering his face while he lays on my lap rn it’s literally the cutest thing i’ve ever seen </span>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>gremlin</strong> <strong>bastard : </strong>awwww</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><strong>dadchi </strong>: brb i need to google the symptoms of heart palpitations </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : understandable have a nice day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>glad everything’s semi-ok folks  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im going to go over to noyas house to watch legally blonde</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anyone else coming</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : YOU F U C K E R </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>HOW DARE YOU TAUNT ME LIKE THIS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>YOU KNOW I WANNA GET IN ON THAT SHIT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BUT IM HAVING A NICE NIGHT WITH MY NEWLY AQUIRED BOYFRIEND</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THIS IS SUM BRAND NEW SHIT HERE</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: i have mixed feelings about this </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : u should rlly know better than to watch legally blonde without suga </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>especially after not inviting him to ur baddie barbie binge </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : suga pls know i had nothing to do with this </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ok ok ok pleas edon tki ll em  o beg of yo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i wont few acth it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>let s jusagt  watch somethignt lesle</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im hsakcin and crygin pleals</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ok so for the people here Who Can Read And Write, i will be translating this </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok ok ok please dont kill me i beg of you”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wont watch it”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lets just watch something else”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Im shaking and crying please”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>how about we rewatch how to train ur dragon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : im not emotionally stable enough to handle how to train your dragon 2</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill be there in 5</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : bet c:&lt;</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : [sigh] </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill be there in half an hour </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span>: that retirement lasted ten (10) minutes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: rip jesus this mf keeps dying</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>how do u do it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : the secret is that i die inside</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and my body refuses to die to spite me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : god same </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>nkjsvfnvjkfdkvb thank u for reading smm!!! theres a bunch of comments already but u know that wont stop me from Literally Begging for more comments nfjkn they are my lifeblood </p><p>and thank u guys sm btw for reading and sharing with ur friends and bookmarking and everything it means SO MUCH to me,, ily all sm &lt;3 &lt;3 ill see u next week with the daisuga fic!</p><p>ok edit : one of the comments asked to tag urself as one of the characters and it has me fuckin WHEEZING so im stealing it nsfjk tag urselves folks im daichi googling symptoms of heart palpitations</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. the bad bitches bureau includes elle woods stannies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>kiyoko’s stepstool : did you literally scroll up through all the texts </p><p> </p><p>gremlin bastard : i had some free time ok </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HELLOOOOOOO </p><p>im so HAPPY the daisuga fic is out now!! the scene at the end of the last chapter where suga is making a playlist at daichi's house is like,,, half-connected to the fic?? like its what they do after the end of the fic and im so proud of it!! i hope u guys read and like it &lt;33</p><p>anyways take this chapter IVE BEEN FUCKING WAITING TO UPDATE THE TAGS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>it’s barbie time </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 20th, 11:48 AM </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed the groupchat name to ok but why is mothman thicc </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>serial arsonist suga changed the groupchat name to his ass protects you from the void</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed the groupchat name to omg can i slappe </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>serial arsonist suga changed the groupchat name to only if u have socks on mothman aint on no gay shi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>homeless jesus changed the groupchat name to please stop changing the name </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>serial arsonist suga changed the groupchat name to no &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : i hate it here </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : :c</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: u bastard </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ur* </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: (*&amp;^%</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im going back to sleep</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : u may have daichi whipped but im immune to your attempts at seduction</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : r u sure about that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what if i was shorter and screamed rolling thunder all the time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fuck off </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ok i am Ignoring That </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>did asahi just say fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ASAHI SAID FUCKE;/?????&lt;d</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ive said fuck before </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i have right</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>right??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 20th, 1:26 PM </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : after two (2) hours of research i can confirm asahi has indeed, said fuck before </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : did you literally scroll up through all the texts </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : i had some free time ok </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anygays</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the majority of the cussing is quoting us </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in conclusion : Asahi Says Fuck Sometimes But Mostly Because Of Us</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : omg my impact</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i got jesus to say fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : is this real </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>is this the world i live in</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : ur mom </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : understandable have a nice day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : anygays (pt 2 : electricc boogaloo)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> NOW do u wanna watch legally blonde</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : i heard legally blonde what </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh sure </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we can go to my place today </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>its only fitting we watch a movie about a baddie in a baddie's house</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : do u wanna make the zucchini noodles again </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: the ones from last saturday?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span>: yeah when i grated all that parmesan </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: sure we can put the rest of it to good use </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill get the ingredients this time </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lol dont defrost the noodles without me this time </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: *]€{^~&gt;}^}€~|£</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fuck off,,, (*&amp;^</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : &lt;333</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : [sniffling] they’re gay your honor</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : fuck off (pt 2 : electricc boogaloo)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : no &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yall r cute asf n shi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill be over in 15</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Direct message from easybake oven 3000 to bald baddie</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 20th, 1:49 PM </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : ahahhahahahahaha so like ahaha… what if… ahahaa.. u were my bestie… ha.. and i told u.. ahahaha.. i was nonbinary 😳😳.. jkjkjkjk…. unless..?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : wait are you serious??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dude thats awesome</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>wait are u not comfortable with being called dude? what are u comfortable and not comfortable with?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im so proud of u??? thank you for telling me??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : i couldnt give a flying fuck what u called me bro</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i dont mind, my pronouns r just they/he now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i guess just dont call me like A Boy or A Male or smth clearly, intentionally or specifically masculine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>like i call ur sister bro and dude all the time so i dont rlly mind if u say dude, maybe a little if it was “bro” but like not much has to change</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lmao but if ur using stan language ur still legally obligated to address me as queen or sis</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : ok, thats totally valid as fuck</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>whatever ur most comfortable with </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im still proud of u tho</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>am i the only one who knows?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : you’re the only person i’ve told this to</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : thats gay</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : as it should be </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : are you comfortable with me using they/them pronouns wit Da Boyz</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : yeah but first i think i should Actually Tell Them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : i’ll get the glitter</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when do u wanna do it </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000 </b>
  <span>: fuck if i know </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hell lets just do it today</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>today is as good a day as ever </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : we’re binging legally blonde today its A Sign </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u can jump them mfs with it when the movie ends and they’re still in shock from how iconic the movie is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lets just start an argument abt gender or sum other shit that doesnt actually exist </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and when tsukki tries to pretend hes not gay u just Say It and ultimately win the argument like the bad bitch u are</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>well if tsukki’s coming that is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>either way best way to come out is by winning an argument thank u for coming to my ted talk</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>easybake oven 3000</b>
  <span> : I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK MY GOOD SIR </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>bald baddie</b>
  <span> : LET THE BAD BITCHERY COMMENCE </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>no &lt;3</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saturday April 20th, 3:57 PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : hi What The Fuck Was That </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : what??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : i cant tell if that was the most amazing or terrible coming out ive ever seen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ur just mad i stole ur spot as baddest bitch in the party</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : go ahead and take it for now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’ll get it back &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>bask in ur glory while u still have it </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ok but Whats Going On</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : oh yeah u werent there for our elle woods baddie binge &lt;/3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : the what now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : i cant believe i have to come out three times in one day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : we’re all already painfully aware of how gay u are </span>
  <span>for asahi</span>
  <span> though</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ok first of all shut up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>second of all im nonbinary dumbass</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : that’s gay </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they/them now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : they/he </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : bitchhhhhhhh iconic asf</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span>: gender binary is for losers &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : felt </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : what </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : what</span>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>kiyoko's</strong> <strong>stepstool</strong> : what</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : anygays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : thanks for telling us ! ur valid as fuck and i can and will punt anyone who tries to disagree </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : i’m the bestie so i get first dibs on first punches </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : FUCKER</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: &lt;333</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>NONBINARY NOYA AGENDA : RISE </p><p>IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONGGGGGG BITCHES</p><p>DROP THE TRANS HCS IN THE COMMENTS </p><p>(socmed : @senkusIut on twt, tastefully-illiterate on my dry ass tumblr)</p><p>TYSM FOR READING YALL SKJNFJFM</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. so we FEELIN feelin things now? we on that found family shit now? OH HELL N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>nb headass : u the type to eat spoonfuls of sugar straight out the mf container but go off </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok so this chapter is ENTIRELY DMS but it just came out on its own and i love it sm this chapter is MY CHILD, PLATONIC TSUKKINOYA NATION WHERE ARE YOU</p><p>!! announcement in the end notes !! not related to the fic, but its related to a fic thats coming out!!</p><p>also this update came early!! monday night instead of tuesday morning because i felt like it and didnt wanna forget! </p><p>nicknames, because i remembered for fucking once : </p><p>nb headass : noya, our short local nonbinary baddie</p><p>tsundere headass: tsukki our repressed king </p><p>enjoy the update!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Direct message from nb headass to tsundere headass </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunday, April 21st, 12:46PM </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : ayo tsukki did smth happen between u n yams </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: tf makes u think that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: THAT AINT A NO BITCH</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>VICTORY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,, anyways,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s bc yams said u had plans the other day and now u two aren’t talking </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>did u guys fight when u met up, or??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : we aren’t fighting </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>or do u just wanna be a good senpai, meddle and try to make everything better, huh? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>nishinoya saves the day, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : dude that was uncalled for </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im just concerned for my friends?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>if you didn’t wanna talk about it you could’ve just said so </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you know i wouldn’t just help or meddle to pretend to be a good friend, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: whatever </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : i can see why ur fighting </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i get that you have the emotional skills of a half starved honey badger with a cocaine addiction and no parents but why the fuck do you react to genuine concern like that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“whatever” headass, no wonder yamaguchi’s fed up </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>say what you mean for once my dude</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : so you’re gonna stop talking to me too? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : no</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i dmed u cause i was worried not mad, dumbass </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : well </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fuck,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: hm </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : he’s not coming back is he </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : i think you’re the one whose gotta take the first steps here bud </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : fuck (pt 2 electricc boogaloo)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and fuck u for ur jokes rubbing off on me </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : &lt;333 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : thanks or whatever </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>needed to hear that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : anytime bud </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : hey </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>can i come over today </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i have some questions abt how u realized u were nb</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and how you and asahi stopped fighting back before he joined the team</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : absolutely buddy i don’t have plans today</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>are you comfortable with talking in my room or do u wanna go somewhere where we wont be around people we know </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>cause tanaka lowkey (highkey) breaks in </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we were concerned at first but now we dont really care</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hes just like that now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : library</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>theres literally no way im ever going to see any of them stepping foot in a library</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>like less than 0%</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : there was always a -45% that u were a nicki minaj AND normani stannie but here we are </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : i dont stan them </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : yeah sure and rei hanami, the 70 year old librarian, isn’t literally the ceo of blueberry jam pastries</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> :  ,,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lets just meet at the goddamn library</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : i’ll tell rei to bring more than the usual sunday’s pastries</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>U dont have to do that </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : u like strawberries right </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,,, fuck off</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : strawberries AND frosting ok got it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>do u drink coffee </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : mmm i like the caramel frapps with that Extra Caramel And Whipped Cream Goodness that they have at sbux </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but why</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : judging u for how sweet u drink ur shit</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : u the type to eat spoonfuls of sugar straight out the mf container but go off </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : shut up tasmanian devil</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill be there in 20 mins </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the library that always reads goosebumps for the kids on halloween right??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: yes </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>our local absolute angel and my hero rei always reads and makes homemade candies like the baddie she is </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : did u just call a 70 year old woman a baddie</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : and what of it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her shit hits different</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anygays (fuck u pt 2 electricc boogaloo for ur humor rubbing off on me)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : &lt;3 &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im almost there </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : okie </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i wont tell anyone by the way </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>only tell me what ur comfortable with </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but dont hold back stuff ur comfortable with saying anything either u repressed bastard </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : first of all fuck u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>second of all</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i know</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> ,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what the fuck does “venti” mean</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : ur ordering already? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just order me a venti yeah its a size at sbux</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>icb ur getting me coffee omg &lt;333 i didnt even ask ur so sweet tsukki </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : fuck off its for me </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i'm gonna drink ur favorite coffee in front of u so u can suffer </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : sure buddy </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : i hate u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : love u too </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>btw ask for their strawberry frappuccino </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>you’ll like it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass</b>
  <span> : ,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>whatever </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass</b>
  <span> : &lt;333</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank u so much for reading!! as of posting this it's monday night, so theres a little bit less than a day for u all but im announcing the release of a new au! its a tsukkiyama au, the wip is sitting at around 20k but it's growing fast, and there'll be about 5 chapters! go to my twt at @senkusIut (with an i) to vote in the poll and decide if it comes out the thursday of this week (as of posting this chapter) or if it comes out, and there are 2 chapters posted on thursday!!</p><p>thank u guys so much again for reading, and tune in next week!!</p><p>(also shoutout to Graypevyne here on ao3 for FINDING THE SINGULAR, ONE (1) crumb of foreshadowing in the previous chapter, what a big galaxy brained person!! mad respecc nfnnjdvjf)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. sometimes u jus gotta give da homiez a lil ki</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><b>dadchi</b> : koulocalhetero.png </p><p>this bastard is putting on socks so he can kiss me</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>henlo everyone!! announcement!! my bakery au is up and posted!! 5 chapters, and its a christmas au!! instead of doing smth for christmas on this fic i scheduled the tsukkiyama fic for the Longest Chapter (currently 8.6k, might get edited more) to be up on christmas!! its basically my attempt at fixing tsukkiyama's Severe Problems </p><p>so this chapter is significantly shorter but ch 14 its gonna be longer!! also i dont know how long i'll be writing this fic for.. maybe 15 more chapters? a 30 chapter chatfic? i think that sounds good</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Direct message from nb headass to tsundere headass </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunday, April 21st, 3:22PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: i told u rei’s shit hits different </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i cried the first time i had her baking too</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: i wasn’t crying?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: no but u avoided eye contact with both of us n insulted me for like ten mins which is textbook Tsukkiology </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>meant that if u weren’t so repressed you’d be in Tears from how happy and at home u felt </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and i’d be more than happy to do it on a regular basis</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>would you like that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it could be a safe space for you </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>sure or whatever i dont give a shit</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: according to Standard Tsukki Procedure i’m taking that as a yes </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fuck off </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: &lt;3 &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anygays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s fine that you don’t quite know who u are yet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’ve always kinda known i was nb in like small ways </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it just takes some time, n thought </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>don’t force it, k?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and im sure you and yams will make up </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...yeah </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>again next Sunday?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: it’s a date &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: gay </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: thats The Point </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ur probably too whipped for yams to be much of a good date parter smh my head my head </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i shoulda asked tanaka &lt;/3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: ,,,, ok,,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ignoring That</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tanaka is?? straight??? why would u take him on a date??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: sometimes u just gotta take the homies on a date ok </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>tsundere headass </b>
  <span>: ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’m  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’m not even gonna comment on that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>nb headass </b>
  <span>: &lt;3 &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>actually wait lemme jus</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>no &lt;3</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunday, April 21st, 3:28PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: question : is it gay to take da homiez on a date </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dress up a lil </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>treat da homiez to some nice lunch or dinner </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>go on a walk</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>watch a movie or two</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>maybe give em a lil kith </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>or a couple</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tuck em in for bed </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> i hate it here</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : its not gay at all buddy </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: yes the fuck it is </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>unless ur wearing socks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>if u wearin socks its jus a lil sus, nothin more </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : shit u rite u rite</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: the lord of all things gay has spoken</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : im not gay the fuck </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : i once again have mixed feelings about this</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : daichi have u ever seen me kiss u without socks on</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : we’ve been dating for like four days we’ve barely kissed in general</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and i havent been checking to see if ur wearing socks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : but we kissed before we started dating too</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : OH?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : tea </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : u make too many gay jokes to be straight</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : and u have too many gremlin children to be in high school</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anygays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>my boyfriend wont accept it but im not gay &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: im breaking up with u then </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : no u arent im literally in ur lap while u run ur fingers through my hair</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>if that isnt textbook whipped boyfriend then i dont know what is</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : this is why ur the lord of all gay things </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : koulocalhetero.png </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>this bastard is putting on socks so he can kiss me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : &lt;3 &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: dont u have to both be wearing socks for it to not be gay</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>FUCK</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: HA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anygays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>noya who r u tryna take on a date</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>which one of da homiez is it</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : jus wanna take all da homiez on a date</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anyone can come </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but if we aint gonna be on that gay shit we all wearin socks </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the fuck am i even saying</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>literally almost all of us are at least bi or pan</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : im in bitch </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i may be the local token cishet but ion mind havin my socks off 😳</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : PERIODDD WHO ELSE IS IN</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard changed the groupchat name to on a date wit da homiez </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool changed the groupchat name to sometimes u jus gotta give da homiez a lil ki</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: i just want one (1) normal gc name </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : thats literally the most gorgeous groupchat name i’ve ever seen in my life </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : [sigh]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>looks like im going on a date</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: bitch yaaaaaaaas</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: speaking of dates </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suga do u wanna go somewhere today </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there's a good ice cream place i know of </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : only if ur wearing socks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i hate it here </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : &lt;3</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aaaaa tysm for reading!!! pls leave a comment if you'd like bc i physically exist to recieve validation kjfjnfnj and pls consider checking out the bakery au!! im not proud of much but i think the bakery au is definitely one of my best aus ive come up with, and it starts out sad but gets rlly cute at the end i swear fjknj</p><p>tysm again for reading!!</p><p>my twt: senkusIut (with an i)  <br/>my tumblr: tastefully-illiterate</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. why didnt noya deny the former leash child thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>serial arsonist suga: literally everything you say is a traumatic experience</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi i released a fic for the holidays and then physically forgot i existed on this plane of the world for like a month</p><p>ahahaaahaha (my bad) </p><p>updates are going to be slow because ive got a bigbang deadline coming up, im having a bit of a depressive episode, and writers block (thanks universe for giving me writers block AND depression at the worst time ever &lt;3 &lt;3) but comments on my fics usually keep me going jksnjkj </p><p>anyways apologies for disappearing off the face of the earth, ill try and get ch15 done as soon as possible &lt;33</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>sometimes u jus gotta give da homiez a lil ki</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sunday, April 21st, 6:42PM</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : dahomiez.png </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we do be on a date doe </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : is that ennoshita in the background crying</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : found him at the movies and took him on our walk to asahi’s house </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>apparently our stellar conversations about whether or not perfume is perfectly applicable to important respiratory masks and wedding cakes “traumatized” him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : literally everything you say is a traumatic experience</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : omg going on a date Wit Da Homiez looks so fun</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i wanna do that</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>milkman</b>
  <span> bet u i could take da homiez on a better date than u can</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: lmao u could try</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the closest you could ever get to kissing the homies goodnight is kissing the floor when i wipe it with your face</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : oh yeah </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>well the closest you could get to giving the homiez a proper forehead kith is headbutting them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: the closest you could get to taking the homies on a proper date is taking them to fuckin mcdonalds and making them pay for your chicken nuggets</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : the closest you could get to treatin the homiez to a nice date is calling them mean names and frownin at them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: we get it already ur both gay for each other </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just go on the damn date already</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>smol babie decoy</b>
  <span> : fine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>stupidyama im going to ur place and im showing u i could take u on a better date than u could ever imagine c:&lt;</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>milkman </b>
  <span>: i’ll be here waiting to prove you wrong, dumbnata</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : you’re both so fucking stupid it causes me physical pain to watch this</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : @</span>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>a year u said?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : fuck off</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : love u too </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : somehow that “gremlin bastard” energy is so much stronger now that youve come out as nonbinary </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : its because my actions cannot be tainted by the flawed system of the gender binary </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gender hinders my arsonist tendencies </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>now that the societal concept of gender has freed me from it’s restrictive clutches i can truly hold nothing back from this world </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: do you ever just literally hate every single person you know </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : u ever think abt how how there is one (1) cishet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and all of us have mental illnesses</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>like</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im kinda gender nonconforming and ive been thinking a lot abt my identity ngl</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and when my socks are off im the gayest bitch in the room, and my mental illness is bad bitchery and phat assery</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>asahi is a pansexual anxious disaster whose mental illnesses are pining and facial hair </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : what do u mean pining,, and thats mean :(((</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : yachi and kiyoko are local lesbian and bisexual queens with no mental illnesses we stan queens who take care of themselves &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>wait yachi got anxiety but she still a baddie we stan her in this household, we love u sis &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : can we talk about the “pining” and “disaster” part that u said i was</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : daichi local demisexual biromantic, mental illness :  father of ten </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: end my suffering </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i’ve already accepted my fate</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : HELLO??? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : tsukkishima’s gay as fuck - mental illness : homosexual homophobe</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy </b>
  <span>: how does that work </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : u know how u, local blatant homosexual, do everything u can to be homophobic </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ok i can see it now </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fuck you idiots</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : &lt;333 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : i hate you </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : love u too bud </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : fuck off</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : anygays </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>back to exposing u mfs </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yamaguchi local mildly-functional bisexual - mental illness : friends with tsukki</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>an actual fucking angel</b>
  <span> : actually im not ! mental illness : cured </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : oh my bad did yall finally get ur mutual pining shit over with </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>to rephrase </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yamaguchi local mildly-functional bisexual - mentall ilness : dating tsukki</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span>: we arent dating </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>welp,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>this is awkward </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : cough up the 400 yen </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: fuck off </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ill do it at practice </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and as much as i want to get the tea on whatever's going on with u two </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>i also couldnt give less of a shit bc i expect u two to work it out </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ur too gay to spend so long angry at each other</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just be reasonable both of u</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>back to calling u idiots out </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>he angy</b>
  <span> : god </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>snooping in our business might’ve just been easier to endure </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>im muting </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : have fun u funky little homophobic gay &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>whose next</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : DO ME DO ME </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : lol ur like a child </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tanaka local token cishet simp - mental illness : bald and unironically owned a maid outfit before it turned trendy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : LMAOOOOOOOOOO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : u know what i accept my fate</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : as u should </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>nishinoya, local pining bisexual arsonist- mental illness : former leash child</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : i was gonna let the former leash child thing slide but THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT PINING</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : i tell it like it is dont blame me for being honest </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : so you ANSWER THEM BUT NOT ME?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : do u really want me to answer u too</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>understandable have a nice day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ok uhhh</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>should i keep going</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: stop</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : omg </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>local baddie appears </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ofc i will &lt;3 &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anything for our queen, i feel so blessed u talked to me omg </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : IKOGHKO?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : KIYOKO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>JIJSDC</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : HEKLO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : HJE LOO?? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>BHOW AKAREOYBU</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : YES HOW ARE YOU MY LADXY</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: i almost want to leave just to see what would happen</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : OKLEA  SENO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard </b>
  <span>: DONT DO IT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>SKOEASE NO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : i think they would literally cry </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: omg bet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko has left the groupchat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : oh dear </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: GOD HAS BANADONED US </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span> : banadoned</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>serial arsonist suga was removed from the groupchat by kiyoko’s stepstool</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : now you’ve done it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool added serial arsonist suga to the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : BEING ALIVE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT KIYOKO</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>homeless jesus</b>
  <span> : ,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u do realize we can just add her back right </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and that she’ll still see us at school and in practices,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>right,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>well,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>of course i did,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : LMAOOOO</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>IM FUCKNGI CFRYINGGNJNJ</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>: SHUT THE FUCK UP </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BACK,, AND THAT WE COULD SEE HER AT PRACTICES,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : its ok tanaka we love u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it must hurt to be that stupid </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstol</b>
  <span> : .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>kiyoko’s stepstool has left the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : look what u did </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>u took a perfectly good token cishet </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and now he’s got the big sad!! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : F</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : ,,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gremlin bastard added kiyoko’s stepstool and kiyoko to the groupchat </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : NOW APOLOGIZE &gt;:c</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga </b>
  <span>: no &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>gremlin bastard</b>
  <span> : @</span>
  <b>dadchi</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : koushi u hurt his feelings</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : :c</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>FUKCING DIRTY MOVE GUYS</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>FUCK YOU</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I STILL WONT APOLOGIZE</span>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : fine i wont cook for u</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : daichi no</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dont let them sway u </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>we were jus fuckin around </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>DNOT DOTHIS TO ME</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : just say ur sorry</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : ,,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fine,, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool </b>
  <span>sorry bro my b </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi</b>
  <span> : i’ll be over in an hour &lt;3 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : have i ever mentioned you mean the world to me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dadchi </b>
  <span>: &lt;3 &lt;3</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko </b>
  <span>: lmao i left for two (2) minutes </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>anyways back to muting, byebye</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>
  <span> : we are abandoned yet again to suffer in the darkness without the light of our lord</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>serial arsonist suga</b>
  <span> : thats rough buddy </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks as usual for reading!! ik its january as of posting this chapter but for the consideration of the public: read my tsukkiyama bakery au? jnkfvnjkvnjfkn or leaving a comment here or like, idk just read it and dip &lt;3 </p><p>im sorry for the endless promo im so proud of that fic,, i wrote 37k in under a month!! im not even a tsukkiyama stan it just came to me and i wrote it and now its one of my longest fics and i think i wrote it really well!! </p><p>be safe everyone!! tysm again for reading &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. so we arent gonna talk abt the elephant thing ok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dadchi: [sigh] are we meeting at noya’s house or tanaka’s</p><p> </p><p>kiyoko’s stepstool: noya’s place, my sisters got friends over and i don’t want any of us to get framed when they burn the house down because the last time i got framed i got grounded for a month and they took my maid outfit </p><p> </p><p>you should NEVER take a man’s maid outfit </p><p> </p><p>it breaks his soul</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[accidentally posts without a chapter summary or notes] anyways &lt;3</p><p>hi folks im changing update schedule to biweekly bc the deadline for my first bigbang is coming up and writers block is a BITCH </p><p>im gonna try to update and write but shiiiiit man im graduating and stuff and have to finish my bigbang fic so,, </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>sometimes u jus gotta give da homiez a lil ki</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Friday, March 3rd, 5:39PM </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: for the consideration of the public: elephant ballet </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: ,, </p><p> </p><p>why the fuck,,</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: I JUST,,</p><p> </p><p>I NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: its ok its ok</p><p> </p><p>i can see why you wouldnt want to be burdened with such a mentally challenging concept</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: speaking of mentally challenging</p><p> </p><p>any of u do that math hw?</p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: we arent in the same year but i can probably help you out, noya!</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: ME TOO ME TOO I WANNA PASS MY CLASS</p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: [sigh] are we meeting at noya’s house or tanaka’s</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: noya’s place, my sisters got friends over and i don’t want any of us to get framed when they burn the house down because the last time i got framed i got grounded for a month and they took my maid outfit </p><p> </p><p>you should NEVER take a man’s maid outfit </p><p> </p><p>it breaks his soul</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,</p><p> </p><p> anyways &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p>@<b>everyone</b> study sesh at mine?</p><p> </p><p><b>smol babie decoy</b>: im in</p><p> </p><p><b>milkman</b>: im coming too</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: i’m coming so that poor daichi doesn’t suffer alone</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: i’m here for emotional support </p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: can u emotionally support noya, asahi?</p><p> </p><p>yk,, while they suffer through math ;) ;) ;)</p><p> </p><p>and maybe support ;) ;) in a couple ;) ;) other ways ;) ;)</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: )(*&amp;^% I HAET IT HERE SHUT UPPPPPOP</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: oh ofc i can support you noya!! Math is hard :(( so ill bring some of everyone's favorite snacks!! </p><p> </p><p>dont worry noya i’ll be there if you get frustrated &lt;33</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,, </p><p> </p><p>im going to fukcvingf cvry</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: go get ur mans </p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: dont cry noya!! we love u and we’re here for u!! let’s get through this together ok?</p><p> </p><p>i dont get stressed over math, but science makes me really anxious. if you get panicky, i’ll show you some breathing exercises that’ll help you feel better!! is that ok?</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,,</p><p> </p><p> asahi literally none of us deserve u</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: dont say that noya!! you deserve so much kindness and love &lt;33. ill be over in a couple minutes, ok?</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: now theyre like,, actually crying </p><p> </p><p>“he’s so kind what the fuck”</p><p> </p><p>“make it make sense”</p><p> </p><p>“are you telling everyone the shit im saying”</p><p> </p><p>“bitch i swear to sweet lana del rey if you’re exposing me im goinf  to fjrullap kwppa ofn </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: anyways</p><p> </p><p>tanaka doesnt need help with his hw anymore</p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: ,,,</p><p> </p><p>at least be sure to hide the body before asahi gets there hes literally the only person in this entire gc whose somehow maintained some crumb of genuine innocence</p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: thats not true!! kageyama and hinata are innocent!!</p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: no they arent theyre just dumb </p><p> </p><p>the other day hinata tried making a boob joke and he couldnt even do it right because hes just that dumb</p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: yeah i was there for that. it made me consider quitting volleyball and moving to europe </p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: omg babe without me?</p><p> </p><p>&lt;/3 </p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: well SOMEONE has to make sure noya doesn’t eat the volleyball net</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: THAT WAS ONE (1) TIME </p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: LITERALLY ANY TIME AT ALL IS TOO OFTEN </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: fuk u asahi’s here bye meanie </p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: did u forget im also coming </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,,,</p><p> </p><p>NO </p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: ,</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: i can deadass feel him sighing from that one comma</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: anyways &lt;3 (pt 2 electricc boogaloo) </p><p> </p><p>@he angy tsuuuuuukkkeeeeeiiiiii r u coming to the study session with the homies</p><p> </p><p>(hahahahhaa tsukki tsuKEI r u seeing my big brain nickname here im so smart)</p><p> </p><p>he angy has left the groupchat </p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: that was so fucking cold LMAOOOOOOOOO </p><p> </p><p>REJECTEDDDDDD</p><p> </p><p>gremlin bastard has removed kiyoko’s stepstool from the groupchat </p><p> </p><p>gremlin bastard has added he angy to the groupchat </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: rude &gt;:c </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: that was the point </p><p> </p><p>kiyoko’s stepstool has joined the groupchat </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: AIGHT WHO LET THE TRAITOR IN </p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: TANAKA GOT SAD OK </p><p> </p><p>i walked inside the house and he was moping </p><p> </p><p>:c</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: &amp;*^%$^%&amp;</p><p> </p><p>ur lucky u know how to do math </p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: in normal words that translates to “ur lucky im so gay for u” </p><p> </p><p>&lt;3 </p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: what </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,,, suga,,</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p>and with that final note ;)</p><p> </p><p>serial arsonist suga has left the groupchat </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: tea </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: ,,,,, dude,,,</p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: ill talk to him rn then ill add him back later </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Direct message from bald baddie to easybake oven 3000</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b>: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM SHITTING BUT DID I DEADASS JUST HEAR ASAFUCKINGHEEHEE ASK YOU ON A DATE</p><p> </p><p>BRO DAICHI AND SUGA LEFT THE ROOM LIKE 2 MINUTES AGO AND HE ALREDAY GOIN FULL THROTTLE )(*&amp;)(*&amp;</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b>: DUDE HE SAID “it makes me so anxious, you make me anxious, but you also make me want to be brave. so. uh. on-on sunday do you want to go on a date. not like, as homies. a real date.”</p><p> </p><p>I ALMOST CRIED WHEN I SAID NO </p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b>: you said,, no to him?</p><p> </p><p><b>easybake oven 3000</b>: …. </p><p> </p><p>yeah,,</p><p> </p><p>i was just like</p><p> </p><p>no &lt;3</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A WILD PLOT APPEARS YET AGAIN</p><p>tag urselves again im tanaka eavesdropping mid-shit bc he could just Sense the drama</p><p>come find me at senkusIut on twt!</p><p>also! to kny fans! i'm modding a kny bigbang! its still in interest check phase as of posting but theres like 2 weeks left before writer apps open! consider checkin us out here: https://knybigbang.carrd.co/#</p><p>(im mod aspen &lt;3 &lt;3) </p><p>be safe yall!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. "i hope the vibrating in ur ass is keeping u on ur toes" sounds so bad without context</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i told yall mfs this shit wasnt gonna be that bad and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED/lh,j . my bad for the long wait tho</p><p>lol yall was MAD PRESSED in the last chapters comments dw dw noya's dumb but. they a special kind of stupid &lt;3 they aint gonna do asahi dirty like that</p><p>also someone tell tanaka to stop shitting</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[shows up a month late with starbucks and a short chapter. again] </p><p>ahahah how yall doin</p><p>im sorry for this one folks</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>Direct message from asahiya there to supersuga!! </em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>asahiya there</b>: so i,, asked noya out </p><p> </p><p><b>supersuga!!</b>: *]€{*|€| omg I LEFT FOR TWO (2) MINUTES AND UR RLLY SHOOTIN UR SHOT??? </p><p> </p><p>AT LEAST WARN ME SO I CNA EAVESDROP  </p><p> </p><p><b>asahiya there</b>: they said no </p><p> </p><p>then suggested Saturday instead of Sunday </p><p> </p><p><b>supersuga!!</b>: thank sweet Lana del Rey </p><p> </p><p><b>asahiya there</b>: the second they said no i instantly decided it was time to drop out of school and move to europe,,, then they were like “ok but how abt saturday bc my sunday afternoons r taken” </p><p> </p><p> i was rlly about to fall to pieces with u and daichi making out like two doors down </p><p> </p><p><b>supersuga!!</b>: sorry to disappoint (mostly disappointing myself) but we werent making out &lt;/3 he wanted to talk about me exposing noyas obvious crush (it was still a dick move,, so im gonna apologize to them bc i didnt think that through)</p><p> </p><p>and then after that daichi was just asking me if i wanted to stay over at his place later and binge telenovelas</p><p> </p><p>i,, accidentally got him addicted to them </p><p> </p><p><b>asahiya there</b>: ok but thats so cute </p><p> </p><p><b>supersuga!!</b>: ok but u kno whats cuter </p><p> </p><p>the fact that noya’s staring at u </p><p> </p><p>im peekin into the room rn theyre like,, Physically Shaking and they keep glancing over at u while u both text </p><p> </p><p>ASK HIM SOMETHING </p><p> </p><p>DONT MAKE IT AWKWARD</p><p> </p><p><b>asahiya there</b>: SUGA PLS U KNOW IM SCARED OUT OF MY WITS RN WHAT DO I SAY (&amp;*^%????</p><p> </p><p><b>supersuga!!</b>: ask him what his favorite movie is</p><p> </p><p>“whats your favorite cinema film” headass JUST SAY MOVIE </p><p> </p><p>DID THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAY 50 SHADES OF GREY</p><p> </p><p>you really know how to pick em huh</p><p> </p><p>OF FUCKIN COURSE THEY WAS JOKIN WHO WOULD UNIRONICALLY ANSWER WITH THAT MOVIE </p><p> </p><p>im just spamming u while ur suffering through a trainwreck of a convo but i hope the vibrating in ur ass is keeping u on ur toes</p><p> </p><p>,</p><p> </p><p>ok maybe i should Stop Talking </p><p> </p><p>but also nishinoya being a grown ass bitch and claiming his favorite movie is fucking Cars is so funny but so like them &lt;3 yall cute </p><p> </p><p>wait they*</p><p> </p><p>WAIT NO NOYA USES HE/THEY </p><p> </p><p>ayo,,,</p><p> </p><p>DID U RLLY JUST TELL THEM UR FAVORITE MOVIE IS ‘YOUR NAME’</p><p> </p><p>,,</p><p> </p><p>U ASKED HIM ON A DATE AND NOW U OFFERING TO SHOW HIM THAT MOVIE ON THE DATE?</p><p> </p><p>HELLO???</p><p> </p><p>SIR</p><p> </p><p>I KNOW YOURE ANXIOUS ENOUGH AS IS BUT DO U WANT NOYA CRYING THEIR EYES OUT ON THE FIRST DATE</p><p> </p><p>actually no it would be hella cute &lt;3 they’d probably get all sniffly and hug u omg </p><p> </p><p>this gorgeous spam &lt;3 love it here &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p>anyways u go king fuck it uuuuuuuppp !! show them ‘your name’ yall can cry together it’ll be so gay </p><p> </p><p>my good sir do NOT brush off the way nishinoya was just smiling at u like u Invented The Sun they look so infatuated it HURTS </p><p> </p><p>ok daichi is here too hes been filled in and telling me to stop spamming u &lt;/3</p><p> </p><p>Ill wait 45 secs before we barge in just in case yall decide to have a sweet passionate first kith on a totally-not-study-date rn</p><p> </p><p>U BASTARD CHANGING THE SUBJECT RIGHT WHNWE NOYA WAS LEANING IN (&amp;*^%</p><p> </p><p>they probably werent gonna kiss u but STILL </p><p> </p><p>&lt;/3</p><p> </p><p>“lets get started ahead of everyone on the math homework so we both can explain it to everyone else when they get there” headass asahi i love u but pls at least give noya some room to flirt with u </p><p> </p><p>fine im going in &lt;/3 </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Direct message from bald baddie to easybake oven 3000</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>bald baddie</b>: ayo can i stop taking a shit already </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: yeah u can </p><p> </p><p>suga came in and asked to talk to me and apologized </p><p> </p><p>apparently he thought saying i was gay for asahi was taking it a step too far as if everyone wasnt already painfully aware we liked each other</p><p> </p><p>lmao it was so obvious from the start did he think i was hiding it in the first place</p><p> </p><p>BUT STG TANAKA TELLING ASAHI WHEN IM BLUSHIN AND SHIT IS OUTTA PCKET I’LL SHIT ON UR KIYOKO SHRINE</p><p> </p><p>no i wouldnt thats Actual Sacrilege</p><p> </p><p>but i’d wet all ur socks so u have to wait for them to dry when u put them on &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: aight im coming back but if i pull up and u asahi suga and daichi r doin some weird double date shit or sumn i Will flush ur homework down the toilet and youll lose ur excuse to talk to asahi</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>sometimes u jus gotta give da homiez a lil ki</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Saturday March 4th, 12:41 AM </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: @he angy u up </p><p> </p><p><b>he angy</b>: no </p><p> </p><p><b>gremlin bastard</b>: oh ok my b </p><p> </p><p>WAIT</p><p> </p><p>£]€{*|€~^}€</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: PLS IN SNFBHDBDHAHS</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: yall gotta stop laughin so hard </p><p> </p><p>daichi and i can hear yall donkey hee-haw asses from the goddamn living room </p><p> </p><p>aint noyas mom latina? hello? aint she gone beat the shit outta yall if u wake her up at midnight? </p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: tanaka is clowning nishinoya rn they aren’t reading the notifs </p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: oh they IGNORIN ME NOW </p><p> </p><p>ASK THEM WHOSE SCARIER: ME OR MRS NOYA </p><p> </p><p><b>homeless jesus</b>: all of us say mrs Noya </p><p> </p><p>u mentioned her and gave noya war flashbacks </p><p> </p><p>tanaka started cradilign noayabuurci gjvignghimnor nevbbb???</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: w</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: mygodthesebitchesgay.img</p><p> </p><p>what asahi meant to say before his Pansexual Panic was that noyas war flashbacks usually require hugs and while i was gonna cradle him i decided asahi was a better suit for rn </p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: GOOD JOB SOLDIER </p><p> </p><p><b>dadchi</b>: gods work and all that getting them together but can y’all GO THE HELL TO SLEEP ALREADY? </p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: no &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>kiyoko’s stepstool</b>: no &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>omg we</p><p> </p><p><b>serial arsonist suga</b>: WE </p><p> </p><p><strong>homeless</strong> <strong>jesus</strong>: i hate it here</p><p> </p><p><strong>kiyoko's stepstool: </strong>love u too king &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p><strong>serial arsonist suga:</strong> @/gremlin bastard go get ur mans &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p><strong>dadchi</strong>: pleas., sleepm</p><p> </p><p><strong>kiyoko's stepstool</strong>: ok im gioing to slep,, &lt;/3 &lt;/3</p><p> </p><p><strong>serial arsonist suga</strong>: gioing</p><p> </p><p><strong>dadchi: </strong>KOUSHI</p><p> </p><p>is now the time to be inciting violence</p><p> </p><p><strong>serial arsonist suga: </strong>fine &lt;/3 &lt;/3 gn</p><p> </p><p><strong>dadchi</strong>: finally</p><p> </p><p>goodnight &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><strong>he angy</strong>: wait what</p><p> </p><p>,,</p><p> </p><p>nvm</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>once again im sorry for the lack of updates, im gonna do my best but its unfortunately not my priority right now<br/><a href="https://shinkamifest.carrd.co/#">shinkami ficfest carrd </a> - interest check ends the 19th!<br/><a href="https://knybigbang.carrd.co/#">kimetsu no yaiba bigbang carrd</a> - writers apps opened a couple weeks ago, and we're doing a giveaway!<br/><a href="https://discord.gg/gtwgr3JydY">join my support server!</a> - a server for artists, writers, betas, and people who want to gain mod experience to join and use as a huge resource!! its for preparing for bangs, ao3 format help, art resources, and we'll be offering intern mod experience when we get enough members!!</p><p>aight folks have a great day/night etc. wherever you are!! &lt;33 thank u as always for reading</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this fic is dedicated to the gc it was inspired by, "picnic blosh" (dont ask me to explain the name idk either)</p><p>thank u so much for reading!! There will be side oneshots releasing alongside the chatfic to follow along the plot, but they all can be read as a standalone fic!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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